I am no one

I am nothing but a shell. There is nothing inside. I look into the mirror and a blank face stares back. Maybe I never was. Maybe I just am no longer. What am I? Who am i? I am lost. I have always been lost. I am not a person. A person feels things like happiness and knows who they are and what they want. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know who I'm supposed to be. If I need others to guide me then what is there that is original? I secretly count down the days until I die. I tell no one that I am already dead. There is no longer pain. There is no longer loss. There is just emptiness. I don't even hold onto the illusion that someday I will have a happy life. I've tried. I've waited. The days have turned into weeks. The weeks have turned into months. The months into years. The years into decades. I'm still here, alone as always. Why? Why am I still alive? I've tried to enjoy life. I enjoy some things. Am I even really real? What is reality? I wish I had someone to talk to and tell these things to. But I am just a sounding board for others. Everyone just talks and no one ever says anything. I would just once love someone to listen to me. To actually listen. To hear what I'm saying. To remember something I say instead of just pretending to listen so they can continue on with whatever stupidity they want to spew out. I'm really starting to hate people. When will it be over? I'm afraid to die but I'm scared to go on living with this emptiness inside. How many more decades must I endure this pit inside of me? If most people are like the ones I know I don't want to be anything like them. Maybe I should just stay invisible. But I can't hide from the emptiness anymore.

Sep 26, 2016

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  • I'm thinking of you too.

  • Who are you? Who are you thinking of? I'm the OP writer of this post.

  • I am me. I am thinking of you.

  • Thank you :)

  • You're quite easily swayed by empty words posted by a complete stranger, aren't you? Wow. Don't breed.

  • Plain as day it's there. Yet you stare it in the face searching for it. Life is a gift. Every day is a blessing wasted on you because you rather than allow yourself to enjoy it, you focus all your energy on apathy and mediocrity. If think of your life as a movie, and you're the hero... okay, that stretches it, let's call you the main character. Should be a hero. No reason not to be. And yet... That's why people distance themselves from you. The movie turns into a snooze fest pretty quick if Batman opened with your simpering monologue before the Caped Crusader then spends the film sulking at the mirror... Wike a Wittle BAY-BEE. I've said this before in this site and I'll go ahead and say it again, because you brooding melancholy types can't seem to get it through your numb skulls. Why do you think happiness and validation come from other people? We're busy trying to get our own lives just neck-high over the rising waters day to day. You want US to make YOU happy, like we owe it to you to put out all the time and effort that you refuse to do for yourself, refuse to put out or give but hatred and emptiness? Sorry, bub, we all got problems, but the ones who succeed are the ones who pull up their big boy britches and deal with it. Harsh? Here: "There, there. You poor thing." Which makes you feel worse?

  • You may get relief talking to a shrink. They're paid to listen.

  • You're boring. You need a hobby. Besides staring in the mirror.

  • Just take deep breaths and say aloud I can ,I will...it's difficult but it's possible don't feel like a loser and think it might be possible but it's too difficult..live life as you wish too ..
    A big hug to you..I can feel your emotions and I am saying it truly Stay strong...

  • Thank you

  • Don't waste your time talking to the sounding brass, look for the genuine, it's rare, but out there. I hear you my friend.

  • Try to fill your heart with love, give this love to people around you, your loved ones. Its an awesome feeling. You wont feel the emptiness then!

  • I wish I had loved ones to share love with.

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