Can I believe they are not cheating?

My husbands female friend put her hand on his lap and I saw it. He swears he didn't expect it but there is a story to go with it if you have the time to read.
I met my husband in college and we have been together since (19 years), we have 2 kids and a house together and are generally happy. He has a hard time sleeping and someone offered him weed last year and it helped and shared with me the next time and I also enjoyed it. We have a 'date' night every couple of weeks and plan to smoke together once the kids are in bed. He has a female friend who I also chat with online and such who is also married with kids. He told me she had a rough week and asked if we could invite her over Sat night to get away from her kids/stress/etc. I agreed and we hung out and she had wine while we shared some MJ while playing cards and chatting, nothing out of the ordinary and had Galavant playing in the background on the tv. It is a goofy musical we enjoy and after a while we went to go watch on the couch. I thought I noticed her hand on his lap once but I dismissed it because I was a little stoned and thought I was being paranoid. Then I defiantly saw it and he saw me notice it. At the end of the show he declared he was tired and said he wanted to wrap up the night. She left. I asked if everything was alright and he told me I was shaking with rage. He was right. I asked him if his intention the whole night was a 3some, which he knew in advance, I would be ok with but not with this woman. They have been friends since college as well and there is too much history there. I truthfully told him if he ever wanted another person, we would go get strange and keep it out of our friends circle. He swears that he invited her over for nothing but cards and such. Then he admitted that he rather enjoyed being between two women on the couch but that was it. When I asked why he didn't move the first time she touched him, he said he wasn't sure it really happened and was a little shocked. The second time, he knew for sure and 'shifted' to make his intentions known that he wasn't interested. I am not all that uptight about s** and I am open to more exploration but the one thing I CANNOT handle is being lied to. Cheated on. Made a fool of. I don't know if he is telling the truth and just messed up by not moving or just shut it down because he saw that I caught them. I respect his privacy so I don't check his computer or phone but now that is all I can think of. What if they have a history and they just got caught because they thought I was too stoned to tell. If she put a move on that night, it should have been to me to see where the night would go. To put her hand on his lap (and it may have been 3 times from what he tells me) and she did it discreetly so I wouldn't see what she was doing has raged me. I don't know if I can ever just think that it was nothing more than that or if I will forever think that they have a secret thing. I don't know if every time he is on his phone if I will think it is because he is talking to her. I don't know if I can live suspicious free.
Overreacting or?


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  • If he gets off with her who cares

  • This is a good start.

    Consider writing out your thoughts on this. Take your time and be sure to say all the things you want to say, just as you want to say them. And nothing else.

    Then have him read it.

  • I'd be p***** too. She shouldn't be touching him period. I'd toss her out of the house and tell her never to touch my guy again.

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