Rough childhood

I typed this all really fast so I'm sorry if at some points it doesn't make sense..

I've had a really rough childhood. Both of my parents we're drug addicts & alcoholics. They constantly fought each other and my mom was always leaving, sometimes she would just be gone for days. My dad used to scare the s*** out of me and my sister, he would always come home drunk and beat on my mom or us. We used to have hiding spots for when he'd get home and I will never forget the fear I felt when he would find us. I remember just looking up, praying he wasn't there, but then I'd see his face and it scared the s*** out of me. Things were always broken, I remember getting glass stuck in my foot from broken computer screen once cause apparently he threw my mom into it. My dad was actually charged with strangling me, which went towards him losing custody over me and my siblings. My mom lost custody to us too, mostly because she wasn't a fit mom with her drug and drinking problems. I remember once me and my sister found her overdosed right before my grandma took us in. It's definitely not something you want to see. At this time, me and my siblings are with my grandparents. They weren't good to us either but at least they weren't on drugs or anything. They we're just really mean, I don't think they really cared for us when we were younger. They were just as physically and mentally abusive and they let my parents come around all the time even though it was court ordered that they couldn't. Because of this, I got to experience all the drug and alcohol issues still. My mom was always f***** up and no matter how hard I tried and begged her to stop, she would still choose drugs and alcohol over us. My moms passed now, I miss her and I love her despite the flaws she had. But for everyone else, they're still in my life. I still live with my grandparents and my dad is still in my life. They don't physically or mentally abuse me anymore but how do I move on from my childhood with them still in my life? They we're terrible to me and my siblings. Am I supposed to just forgive them? Even if they never apologize? They just act like it never happens and I'm scared I'm never going to have closure and I'm gonna be mentally f***** up for life because of it

Dec 25, 2016

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  • I'm so sorry this happened to you.
    People get mad at me when I say this*, but there really needs to be parental licensing. It won't solve everything-- you still have to deal with a****** drivers and drunks even though that requires a license-- but truly horrible stories like yours would be less if there were more oversight.

    *Let me clarify: Stupid people who stand to lose lots of short-sighted perks for reproducing and doing a bad job of it.

  • I think forgiveness is more a way of getting rid of any burdens that you may carry. You know like some victims think their abuse was partly their fault. Or others stew with hatred that consumes them. It's kind of like forgive and move on.

  • I really cannot stand parents who use and it affects their kids, even worse enabling grandparents, even worse abusers who never apologize because of their inability to deal with their own guilt. I cut my mother off for years; she eventually apologized, didn't laundrylist the apology, but I knew what she meant. I have forgiven her, but not forgotten. I see her as little as possible, and I'm fine with that.
    Look in the mirror every morning and repeat I will not suffer because of their baggage, I am free. Best of Luck little lamb xo

  • How old are you? Do you have a job and savings? If yes, are you financially secure enough, to move out of your family home? Do it, if you can.

    You need space and time to heal,
    away from those who traumatised you.
    You can't do that, living with your family.

    You need to focus on yourself and self-love. Do you have close friend's you can talk to or move in with?

  • Im really trying to.. im saving up so hopefully by February Ill be out of here

  • I hope it works out for you x

  • Did you manage to move out?

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