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To Dominique,
We were only acquaintances but that day something more happened. I didn't and still don't know much about you. We would only see each other around the campus at college. It was in 2015 when things began to turn around.
I remember those days when you wanted to get yourself noticed. I wasn't and I am still not sure why? We have come from two different backgrounds. You're a caucasian man and I am an Asian woman. You've made many efforts to get yourself noticed at the library. Remember that day when you were looking for random school students to help you with your class survey? You came up to me and asked me. After the survey you asked me to go camping with you and your friends but I refused the offer because I had my own obligations. Later, we began to have brief conversations in the library and then sometimes around the campus. I remember that day in campus. It was a sunny day and I was heading towards tutoring center for HW help. Out of the blue, you came across.
We said hi to each other and had a brief and normal conversation. Then you asked me about my graduation and I told you I was graduating that same year. In fact, that was my last quarter. You looked at me curiously and became emotional. Then I reached my destination. I was on my way to go upstairs then all of a sudden you grabbed my arm, pulled me closer and hugged me tight. Honestly, that was an intimidating moment for me. I am sure even you could feel my rapid heartbeats. I was screaming internally, but a part of me told me not to freak out.
You hugged me so tight that I honestly misinterpreted it as "attempt to **" because you touched me unexpectedly and without my consent. I only hug my closest friends. But then I looked within your eyes. They were telling me something else. They were not saying "I want to ** you." They were saying "I care about you." I let you hug me but I never hugged you back. You held me for more than a minute, then I decided to ask you with concern, "what's wrong?"
You were speechless. After that hug, I went upstairs with curiosity. Then looked down at you and you were half looking at my way and half ahead until we were no more in the scene. I thought you were going to cry but st the same time I was relieved that you left because that situation made me extremely uncomfortable. Honestly, I never thought of you as a bad person and I still don't think. However, it has been three years since this has happened and I don't normally share these thoughts, but recently I've been losing my sleep over it.
I've decided to leave these thoughts here and move on with life.
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