Oh no mom

My mom and I have a great relationship but sometimes I wonder what she is thinking.
My husband and I started a fairly large renovation of our basement so I had moved a bunch of furniture around and moved a dresser from the basement to our room and one from our room to the basement, We ended up moving most of the larger pieces to my parents basement since we didn't want to be moving them around every time we started working in a new room. One of the pieces we moved was the dresser from our room which was an antique dresser my grandmother had given me.
A few weeks later I was talking to my mom and she asked if she could put the dresser in their spare room for guests to use and of course I told her she could, I had not really put any thought into what might be in that dresser since my husband just put it on a cart and hauled it over full of stuff but when I moved it downstairs at our house I had left some of the stuff I didn't need in it. Unfortunately inside that dresser was a rather embarrassing um...Toy from a few years ago.
When I turned 35 my friends had thrown me a birthday party and a lot of people had brought me some gifts, One of which was a gag gift of a "Clone A Willy" kit, For those of you who don't know what that is, It is a kit you use to make a silicone replica of a p****, When they gave it to me they said "Well, You know, As you get older things may not work like they do now so this will always be ready" and laughed like crazy but...One weekend while all the kids were away me and my husband decided to do it.
Such a funny process, You mix up the mold, Put your p**** in it and you have to keep it hard as he just lays there trying not to move too much, When the required time is up you pull the mold off CAREFULLY and then pour in the silicone mixture, Let it cure and install the "Hardware" to make it vibrate. So we went through the whole process and I had to put on a show for him to keep him hard but the kit was actually quite impressive when finished and actually was an exact replica, Only problem was that the tube that comes with was not large enough for my husbands...Member as he is quite large.
So fast forward 3 years and I don't remember if I ever used it very much after the initial christening but I had put it away in the bottom under some stuff and forgot about it, Anyway mom cleaned out the dresser and called me that afternoon, I could tell she was a bit distraught and when she asked me to come over I did right away, I walked in and asked if she was ok to which she replied "Oh, Yeah...No, I am all good I just wanted to talk to you about something". My mom is not normally very forward but she did somehow muddle her way through "The talk" with me and my 2 sisters when we were younger but this was a whole different level of weird, She started out telling me she cleaned out the dresser then pulled out a bag with DUM DUM DUM...My husbands replica p****.
Instantly I was shocked and said "Oh god...Um..." and she interrupted me, She said "I just want to talk to you about something", I said "Uh, No, We don't need to talk about that" and she stopped me, She explained how she has always had a policy of whatever we girls do in our marriage is our business and what happens behind closed doors is private, I said "Ok, Good, Can I have that" and reached for it, She looked at me and pulled back as I looked at her with wide open scolding eyes, She said "Just hear me out" and I looked at her, She looked at me and I couldn't do anything but laugh, I said "Ok, Mom, Carry on".
I sat here as my mom explained to me about marriage and love and s**, She told me that after having babies sometimes things are not the same and may need some work to "tighten up", I looked at her and said "Oh god...Stop...Please", She said "No dear, I am just saying that This" as she held my husbands "Willy" up with both hands and said "This...May be a bit...Intimidating for ******* and I don't know if he knows you have it but it would be very hard to live up to", I said "Please...Can you stop touching it", She said "Oh goodness, I'm sure you clean it and I have been a nurse for 30 years, I have touched worse things", She was holding it in both hands explaining about girth, Length, Size and what happens when you continually use something of that "Size".
When she finished and asked me for my thoughts I said "Really, Is it my turn to talk now", She looked at me and said "Please", As I sat there looking at her holding my husbands p**** I said "Ok, Um...That, Is my husbands p****", She looked at me a little confused so I explained about the birthday and the gift and how it came to be. When I stopped she just sat there looking at it and then said "This is an exact replica of *******'s p****?", I nodded and she looked at it, Slid it across the table to me and then just scratched her head and I burst out laughing, She looked at me and I said "I am sorry mom, I just..." and then she started laughing and said "Oh god, I...I just...oh no".
We had a good laugh and she told me how embarrassed she was, She had been looking at it for two days wondering how to talk to me about it or if she even should, Eventually I said "You didn't show dad did you?" and she said she hadn't, In the end we had a glass of wine and laughed before I went home, My husband had obviously known I was going to my parents because something she sounded upset and asked me what it was about when I got home. I was laughing so hard that I could barely speak but he got the gist of it and was soooooo embarrassed, He still is and finally after telling him 10 times I was able to get the whole story out.
It is hilarious when we go to my parents because my husband is not shy by nature but he gets nervous around my mom now.

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  • That's hilarious, I have a similar story but quite different also, My mom seen my husbands p**** the night before our wedding and although being "large" I don't think he is crazy huge (8") but my mom walked in on him naked and he apparently had an erection.
    That night she and I had a talk about all the problems a large p**** could cause and finally after her telling me she had a boyfriend with a big p**** before dad who always wanted to put it other places I had to tell her to stop and that we had been having s** for over a year already so I was well aware of what I was getting into.

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