Wife is a feedee and I'm her feeder

Great question. This whole chain of events begins with the psycho-sexual component of our lives. Eating constantly and growing bigger is sensual for her - her own growth turns her on, and it also increases her positive self-image because she know it turns me on. So, the growing was inevitable as was the immobility. We never had long talks about diapers; through the years, I would just mention diapers in passing in a future sense, like, ok, someday I’ll be getting a supply of Depends up here in the bedroom, or we’d make a little joke if she was haltingly making her way to and from the bathroom. So, without making it a big deal, we just accepted it as part of the deal. I mean, I know there are naysayers in this thread, but our life is happy. We’ve found in each other someone we love and who meets our needs.
So, two things changed significantly when she became totally immobile. The diapering and the bathing. Yes, those are child-like, but they are just physical actions. Cindy is not child-like in her mental acuity - we have great conversations and we are always laughing, and we have an adult emotional and sexual connection. So, the diapering and bathing don’t imply a reversion to a child-like state.
I hadn’t said on here, but will now, that tenderly bathing her all over with soap and warm water is very sensually stimulating, as well as the applications of lotions afterwards. I don’t think we quite realized until she had become immobile, how much closeness and pleasure those simple acts would bring us on a daily basis.

So her gaining led to a kind of virtuous circle in your relationship, making you both happier and more fulfilled as she grew? It sounds like you have a very happy relationship & good communication - life is always better with plenty of laughter!
It actually doesn’t surprise me that you have found such stimulation & intimacy in bathing and lotioning your wife, and her in being attended to like this, because by their nature they bring people so close. You have to gently reach into every deep, delicate fold of her body, and she has to be comfortable and trusting enough to let you. Every time you both demonstrate and reinforce a level of trust equivalent to what many people require for enjoyable **. Does you changing her diaper after she poops (which I presume means you spending some significant time to do properly & safely) provide a similar opportunity for her to feel that sensual total trust, as you clean and care for & accept her in the most intimate way possible? Or has it developed into just a totally neutral thing, with no emotional resonance?

Thank you for your sensitive post and questions. First let me say that tending to Cindy, especially in latter years as she became more housebound, mostly bedbound, and now finally immobile, has never seemed like work. Making and bringing her food, helping her dress and undress, emptying her ashtrays, and just creating and maintaining bright and cheery surroundings, along with all the other house stuff and admin, and now the washing and diapering, has always just seemed like loveplay. The virtuous circle.
We chuckled at your comment about each deep and delicate fold, which is true, but at her size, her folds have folds! One thing we really like about the washing is how much time it takes to cover her. She is so large that to wash and lotion her well and clean all over usually takes over an hour. I suppose someone could go faster, but the slowness and tenderness makes us want it to go on for awhile. We enjoy the daily ritual.
With regard to the diapering, no, it is not neutral or unemotional. As I said, she is not childlike, but is dependent completely on me for her well-being in that regard. She’ll call to me and say, honey, I need a change. I help her roll on her side, so I can get at the diaper and I take it off and dispose of it. We are not into ** play or anything like that, so the diaper goes away. But, what is sensual and emotional and part of the trust and love is cleaning thoroughly all up and down her ** crack and and the lotioning to prevent diaper rash or anything unhygienic. That can turn sensual with a certain amount of running my ** up and down and touching in the right places. And then I like making sure the enormous new diaper is in place and well fastened. As I tend to cleaning her after movements, there is a special intimacy that we have found. We are both very much enjoying some of these new, intimate opportunities that have resulted from her immobility.

Thank you for taking the time to answer me so courteously. I'm touched that you shared my question with Cindy too!

It's wonderful to hear that your bond is so strong. Some people might only see the negatives in your situation, the things lost. But you have both clearly gained so much that is new and positive. More ways to show & feel your love for one another, as you say. Hence why you like to take your time when you are washing her, rather than get it out of the way fast as if it was simply a chore.
It does seem natural to me that you changing her diaper for her becomes part of that bond, simply because the intimacy of it is by necessity so extreme & something that simply isn't ever required for most couples, who will never know what you & Cindy know. The hardest of hard proof that you love and accept every part of her. And of course with cheeks her size it's going to take a while to clean her properly anyway, so why not take your time & make it feel good for her?
It would be so easy for an immobile partner to feel anxiety and shame around diapering, but the fact that she'll just call to you without hesitation or worry whenever she needs a change speaks volumes for how much she trusts you :) Did the emotional side of it surprise either of you when you first started, back in December?

And yes I imagine at your wife's size her diapers are pretty enormous lol. It's good that they do bariatric diapers big enough for her - and hopefully a larger size should she ever grow out of these? Even if you can't measure her weight anymore, I doubt she's stopped growing when you seem to take such good care of her :)

This is all fine and we'll. But what will you do when your 900 or 1000lb blob of a wife is lying in her own filthy sweat, gasping out her last breaths all because she gotten too obcenely fat to survive. And believe me it will happen sooner than later. It's the law of averages at work. I can almost predict what she will be doing in those last desparate hours. She will be begging God to spare her and miraculously make her thin. She will openly regret every excess calorie she shoved down her enormous, greedy, gullet. And worst of all, like all ** whales she will shift the blame for her blob like state onto YOU. All fat hogs no matter what they claim, deep down, hate the fact that they are such embarrassing fat monsters. They despise their own weakness, greed and gluttony. They would much rather be thin or at least "thinner" because they know what a hugely bloated horror they have become. But still very few of them will take responsibility for themselves. In the end YOU will be the bad guy and everyone will treat you as such. The sensationalism surrounding feeders and their massively obese feedee prey is not without merit. You will take all the heat when social services and the fire dept comes to call to remove the dead jumbo sack of lard lying in her own offal. The spectacle of having your pig cut from your mud hut will be huge and intensely embarrassing for you as well as both your families. Perhaps you two selfish nitwits should think of your loved ones before it is too late.

Amen!

I’m a woman in my 45 and I’m a feedee living with the feeder housebound for over 15 years. I’m imobile for over 3 years now using dipers since. My housebound is my caregiver and he is changing my dipers, bed bathing me etc. it took me months to accept my dependence and the fact that he is doing this for me now. I took it badly and felt ashamed and embarrassed but in time I accepted and now it’s a routine for us. Now we are facing a new problem which is the fact that I’m getting bigger and less and less able to participate and be of help and he is having to lift me more and more. But we are figuring day by day. It’s not easy but if it’s your decision you both made it’s something you have to overcome. Good luck