Concerns about her trip

I'm 27, and I've been happily married for 4 years. My wife is beautiful, same age, and is the love of my life. My world revolves around her, I love her so much.

She recently said that she wanted to take a trip to Mexico this spring with a dozen friends from her high school days for a week. I said, "When are we going?" She replied that I'm not invited, and that it is just her and her friends. I felt a little hurt by that. She said boyfriends/spouses are not allowed.

I'd feel better about the trip if it was just with her female friends, but there are going to be guys that she knew in high school there as well, four of them. It's like a mini-reunion. I'm on my wife's facebook, and they are chatting non-stop about getting rooms, where they are going to party, etc. It has me unnerved.

I trust my wife, but this doesn't seem right. I asked her if she is doing this trip just so she can get f*****, and she got really angry. I'm not sure if my concerns are justified, or if I should back off and let her go. Any comments would be appreciated.

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  • Duh!!! Of course she will and wants to. Not only that, she will find out it is extremely erotic to be desired by other men and will continue in the unforeseeable future. Good luck

  • Let her get f***** so what?

  • She’ll get drunk and loose and forget about you. Trust me once the alcohol starts working she’ll be getting it on without you. You can’t trust any female these days

  • Just tell her that when she gets back the divorce papers will be ready for her to sign. And mean it too! Neither one of you should go on any vacation without the other. This is crossing the BIG RED LINE ! This is not controlling either. Just the damn way it is.

  • One other thing will be different when she comes home. shes going to be sporting a brand new batch of STIs. you might want to get your doctor to call in several prescriptions for penicillin. for both of you. and then just pray in the meantime that she doesnt pick up something penicillin cant cure. the marriage is already over. you just need to hope that all the diseases she brings home will come to an end as smoothly.

  • Here is the sort and simple of it... and you should show your wife this...
    Do you want to have a happy and long marriage? If so than it's very simple. NEVER put yourself in ANY situation where your spouse has to question your loyalty to them. Period!!
    It is not your spouses job to trust you. It's YOUR job to prove you love and respect your spouse each and every day. That includes never going on a vacation without your spouse unless they are okay with it. You are clearly not okay with this vacation so she should either demand that you are allowed to go, or you two make your own vacation plans together. You two are a couple and partnership, not your wife and her old friends. If your wife doesn't understand this, your marriage will never last.
    I have been married for 42 years and my wife and I have NEVER left the others side. My wife would never attend this trip unless I was by her side, nor would I. Our marriage is just as strong and loving today as it was 42 years ago when we got married.
    That is my two cents, take or leave it.

  • Any time you hear the phrase" spouses aren't invited " that's your read flag! The fact that there are going to be male friends along on this trip is your next red flag. You already know what will happen once the fun in the sun starts, old memories from school, old crushes coming back to the surface , lots of alcohol and your wife will be getting f***** by her old boyfriend ,for old time sake of course.

  • This is the exact phrase my now ex wife used when she told me she was going away for a weekend Team building exercise with work. 'Spouses aren't invited". She should have probably not let an open box of condoms fall out of her over night bag and on to our bedroom floor, right in front of me, the night she got back. WHOOPS! That's a tough one to explain !

  • OMG! How stupid (or brazen) could she be???!? So, what did she say when that happened? Ya gotta tell us the rest of the story...….

  • She started stuttering when I picked up the box of condoms and asked what the f*** she was doing with them. We were't using condoms because she was on the pill. She then tried to blame one of her female co workers, saying she must have put them in her bag by mistake. I knew it was all bullshit, and once I told her to call this co worker because I wanted to ask her about it she caved. There was no work related event, She had reconnected with an old friend from high school through FB and she just agreed to meet him. She told me she never planned on having s** with him that it just happened. She begged me to forgive her and told me it was all just a huge mistake, he didn't me anything to her she was just feeling down and got caught up in all the wonderful things he was saying to her.It was all BS though. You don't go off and meet a guy for the weekend not thinking you are going to f*** him. I'm pretty sure the guy was just looking to f*** her while he was visiting the area because he was married too. I filed for divorce three days later.

  • Incredible. Hard to imagine she was that stupid AND careless. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you're out of the trap. Have you remarried or are you still shopping?

  • I have remarried and my new life with my new wife is actually so much better than my first marriage. Its funny because my current wife used to work with my first wife and after talking about why we divorced she started pointing out all the signs I missed and that at her place of employment it was a not so well kept secret that she slept around. My current wife told me she personally knew of three different men they worked with that my ex wife had f***** while we were married. If it hadn't been for seeing the condoms fall from her bag I may have never known. I will never trust anyone so blindly again.

  • It's a great shame that you had to find out both things so painfully, although I must say that you don't seem embittered by the betrayals, which is a rare thing in the world. Maybe the new wife, and her trustworthiness, have been a comfort. I certainly hope that's the case. You certainly deserve that. I wish you all the very best.

  • She won't limit herself. Why would she? Once the old bf does her, all the guys on the trip will start doing her. Then she will start letting strangers do her, too. This is getting out of hand and they haven't even left town yet.

  • Your wife is going to get f*****. I'm a 38yo married woman who has had "girls's night out" plenty, and not even a week outing, but only a sleepover at one of our places when we were too drunk to drive home. S** happened.

    This sounds like a disaster for your relationship.

  • She's right. your wife is going away so she and her friends can play hide-the-salzeech. shes def going to d***-city and then to ho-ville. bye-bye marriage.

  • 41mwf here. I went on a Caribbean cruise with five other women friends about three years ago. We made it an "all-wives" event and told our husbands that it was just for us to get away and relax, which is why we didn't want them there. We said "we just want to be ourselves and not your wives". Plausible. Possible. Right? Well, we intended from the gitgo that we were GOING TO GET LAID. We knew it would happen. We didn't know who or in what order or how many or where. Our husbands (mine especially) bitched and moaned, but we're women, so we got our way. We had a great time and we all got severely laid and had the best s** of our lives. My husband could never prove any of it of course, but he knew I'd strayed. He also can't prove that I strayed again after I got home. Random guys. No commitments. Just straight up f******. Frequent. Joyful. Our marriage has never been the same, but my s** life has never been better. It all just depends on what you want. But I agree with the others who've said that this crew of your wife's is already deep into the hookups and they'll be hopping beds and f****** like animals. Don't be fooled into believing anything else. She will f*** and she will be f*****. Remind her to take her birth control pills with her.

  • I'd let her go, but do the same to her. Ask one of your buddies to go on a trip with you and have fun, let it roll. I'm not saying do anything bad, but enjoy yourself without her in your presence. Tell her it's "guy time" and see how she responds. She might get how selfish this is, and recognize the error of her ways.

  • Cheating is highly possible as they are old school friends so they will disclose their feelings in school time. They will be spending time together enough for cheating. Its upto your wife how she control herself. If you don't allow her to go your life will be h***.
    You can create an emergency/medical emergency (fake) so that she can cancel her trip.
    Good luck.

  • Your feelings are valid. Even spouses need some "friend time" without the other spouse, but a week-long trip to Mexico with other guys? WTF do you think is going to happen to her? She's going to get railed more than a locomotive. Don't let her do it.

  • She's going to become a w**** while she's away. Whether or not she's ever cheated on you, by the time she gets back, she will be a serious -- and serial -- cheater. Your marriage is history, dude.

  • I let my wife go to a concert which was supposed to be a "Girls trip", Yeah three of them including my wife cheated that weekend.

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