Please help me
* im sorry if this is too long but please if someone knows how to help me i would appreciate that*
im a teen and i hate my life. i have everything: the most loving parents, friends, clothes, food and all stuff i need. but im not happy.my parents do everything they can to make me happy but that happines doesnt last long. firstly im 16 and i hate that im becoming a woman. my mom yesterday wanted to buy me heels and she said to me that im not a little girl anymore. i hate that feeling and im not ready to grow up. secondly i never want to wear provoking clothes or even little bit thighter clothes cuz i feel like everybody is gonna watch me. im not even confident in wearing shorts! i hate the feeling that people would look at my ** or ** and sexualize me. i feel like every older man is a pedo even my teachers and random strangers.
thirdly my family is always telling me that happy people is the ones with children and the love of their lives but i dont want that. i feel like its time for me to be in relationship and everything but i feel like i dont want to have boyfriend nor husband and children in future and i dont want that to change. i dont want to lose virginity and i feel like im asexual too. every day i wake up and cry ovethinking everything. i never go out i hate people. i have a few close friends and i feel like before when i was little i was confident and never shy but my parents are the type that wouldnt let me hang out (its complicated lol) and stuff so i feel like thats why im introverted now. i know i havent been introvert my whole life. i used to be the confident kid and never shy but now i am being introverted and not social like others. i hate it. i dont care about peoples opinions about me and i feel like people are sick of me always complaining about life. i hate when my parents try to help me cuz i feel like its only getting worse. also when i tell my friends how i feel they say that i should be happy with what i have and that that sadness wouldnt last long. but that sadness last for over two years now! last summer was really hard for me i didnt know what to do with myself i felt like my head is gonna explode and i couldnt help it. im felling helpless because i cant even contol my own mind and its driving me crazy. i think about killing myself every day but i always remember that that would ruin my familys life and i dont want their life to be sad like mine. i feel so weird knowing that i exist and i dont know how to explain it i may be going through existential crisis for the past two years of my life. i hate being a teen and i feel whenever i think i might have depression my friends always tell me "we all feel like that it will be alright" or "you dont have problems BE HAPPY". i cant be happy just like that. i feel deppresed but they always tell me thats cuz im a teen and its normal to be like that in this period. i hate when they say that cuz that dont help me at all and just make my problem worse. im sorry if this is too long and i feel like most of you are goint to say that i need to meet psychiatrist but im gonna try anyways.
Do you want to talk?
You ARE depressed. I’ll try to address your concerns as well as I can. Just note that it’ll be based on a lot of assumptions since we aren’t communicating back and forth.
Your friends just assumed that you are sad (which is not uncommon for teens) rather being depressed. Can’t blame them being ignorant about it since they didn’t experience it nor had good knowledge about it.
And in case of your parents, it’s clear how they take parenting seriously and care about you a lot, which is good. However, simply having good intentions and doing what you believe is the best not good enough. Actually, it may get things even worse. The things they do for you only put more preasure into you and may even make you have a feeling of guilt. As people have different hobbies, dreams, interests and desires, so the things that can bring them true happiness. Just because making a family was what brought them joy to their lives, doesn’t mean it will for you. Rather than doing that, they should give you more space. Less guiding and more communication.
If you don’t want to do the things that people in your age do, like getting in a relationship and stuff, then don’t. It’s not like you either have to do it right now or you are screwed for life. Even if you reached your thirties, it is still not too late to go into one if you had a change of heart. Actually, it is better to wait rather than rushing into one. After all, it is more likely that your future partner would be somebody who is mature and understanding. It is your life; live it the way you want rather than following the expectations of those who are around you.
So yeah, just try to live your life the way you want and have proper communication with your parents.
If that doesn’t seems to work, then the best option for you, as you said, is to go to psychiatrist. She/he should have a better understanding of your thoughts than anybody else and would be able to communicate well with your parents.
Hope I helped even for just a little..
God cares for you. Put your trust in Him to guide you through his Word, the Bible, and through the Holy Spirit. Seek godly counsel from other Christians who walk with God.
Email me hun if you need any advice - I understand what youre going through being a woman. Its hard but there are ways to make it easier **
hannahelliot09@gmail.com
Hey hun, first of all I'd like to say i care a great deal and you are worth the world. Secondly, no matter what anyone tells you about 'how to be a woman' - do not listen to them! You dress however you like to dress. I hated dresses as a kid and it took me too long to realise i didnt HAVE to wear them. Because sadly, as females, a lot of our choices are taken away from us. Less so now, but women are still widely presented in the media as objects. You are beautiful, you are an individual. Dress however the ** you want sis because either way, its you and its always better to be you.
Its horrible to be sexualised but you cant control what people think. My advice to you would be to start listening to what YOU want to do. Hobby wise, dress wise, career wise. You're far too young to be even thinking about marriage and kids! (and it might please you to know you can still have kids without giving birth or losing your virginity...The magic of scjence! XD )
But dont let ANYONE tell you marriage and kids is the 'norm' because it isnt for everyone and this is your life. You're in charge , all you need to figure out is what you truly enjoy doing and just go for it with all you've got. Success doesnt always equal family and kids for everyone. Some people are going to hold you back and preach their social ideals but you dont need to listen. You can respect their opinion and continue on your path.
If you need to talk you can reach me on this email
hannahelliot09@gmail.com
I wish you so much love and success in your life **
Also, sadness isn't some ** disease. The world has a lot of dark ** in it. You feel the way you do for a reason. Be the way you wish the world would let you be, because (again) it's your life.
Hey, I just saw this and wanted to say that I know how tough it is. I mean, some people can kinda ignore how they feel, project happiness, and really get into that. ..but that was never my thing. Listen to your feelings. There are a fuckload of reasons not to feel great about life, our culture, etc.
Prioritize growth that includes the parts of you from the past. Find ways to include those parts of you. Spend time listening to your heart, and doing the things you love. Growing up does ** sometimes. Don't get a lot of stuff -- keep your living situation minimal, and keep your costs down. ..then you won't have to work too hard to keep afloat, and you can spend time doing the things you want to.
You can dress however you damned well please. You can have **, or not, as you please. You can have kids, or not have kids, as you please. The most important part of growing up is that others have to accept your autonomy. You want to go home after work and play video games all day? ..roll around with a stuffed animal? ..whatever. It's your life, not theirs. If you cover your own material needs, nobody can say ** to you about how you live -- or if they do say **, you can just say "well, it's my life, and you can ** off."
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