Are we even now?

In a twisted turn of events I cheated on my husband but feel I made it up to him even if he doesn't know about what I did.
For my bachelorette party some friends and I went to Vegas and they booked a suite and brought in male dancers, I ended up in a separate room getting a "Private show" and it went way too far which included me and him having s**, I came home totally distraught over what I had done and was contemplating telling him but couldn't get up the nerve.
On our wedding night we ended up in a hot tub with some friends and my bridesmaids, There was some flashing and groping but eventually everyone decided to bail and let us be alone, All except my cousin who was one of my bridesmaids and didn't get the hint, It was just the three of us in the hot tub and I was naked, My husband was naked but we were both staying under the water and she was just in a thong and her bustier, She is not a small chested girl to start with (DD) and with the bustier I knew she was catching my husbands attention.
I know it was totally my guilt that caused it but I right away thought that if I got her to do something with him that would make us even, I talked her into taking off her bustier which wasn't that difficult and soon we were all sitting up with our upper bodies exposed, She said it wasn't fair and my husband stood up, I pushed him toward her and started urging her to touch him, It didn't take long and there I was watching my cousin suck my husband, He kept looking at me and I kept telling him to go ahead and pretty soon I was standing beside him kissing him and watching him bang my cousin as she sat on the edge of the hot tub leaning back against the wall.
We did finally consummate our marriage that night, After my husband got off with her there was a short period of awkwardness before she left the room and we crawled into bed.
I am not happy about either situation but are we even now?

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  • Even, not by a long shot. You cheat with a stripper , feel sorry about it then you use your cousin to do your husband . You need professional help, you have a long way to go before you become a human being. Good luck with your insane marriage.

  • Through your guilt, you have given your husband a clear signal that it's ok to have sexual relations with someone else.
    We have been married for 33 years now, are swingers, and my wife has three regular lovers. We have communication between us that most married couples don't have. We share our thoughts and fantasies with one another.
    S** with others outside of our marriage has made our relationship stronger.
    The other 99% of the time we are just a regular married couple going on with our lives.
    Not all people can do this, but an honest open dialog between you and your husband can only help.

  • Speaking from experience NEVER ever NEVER confess this mistake no matter what drunken weak moment you may have. If you don't want to have anymore 3ways just tell hubby it was a one off thing and leave it at that. Correct your behavior and move on with your life.

  • Big mistake, I had a threeway with my husband just before we were married with a friend of his and he was the one who wanted it, Then after we are married he says "Now it's my turn" and I was like "Uh no, That was your turn, You wanted it" and he basically told me that was for me and now he wanted one for him, I didn't want to be divorced only months into our marriage and so I brought my friend Nicole home one night. Now he thinks it should happen every weekend.

  • Oh no?

  • Nicole will have something to say about that.

  • Your cousin and husband now believe you have given them your blessing.

    They most likely will become lovers, be ready to join them for threesomes and to eat her p****.

  • FMF only and you pick the woman. Then make him keep on 2 or 3 condoms at the same time. No f*** ups. Not all that enjoyable.
    So you get to pick when, and who, you want to have s** with.
    That is, if you will be attracted to her.
    And vice versa for her. She may say yes to get to your guy. Think about that too.

  • Ya,you're good👍 and a Nice woman too

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