Feel like I'm up to my neck in water
I have spent so much of my teenage life isolated feeling like a generally undesirable person. I feel like I have no long term goals or ambitions to keep me motivated. I have no notable relationships with anyone and really hold nobody near my heart. I don't have urges to commit suicide but I really cannot continue life this way.
I've been making efforts to join the Air Force but have no moral support from my family. They expect me to keep living in a unremarkable way and have said that I'm not "cut out for the military." On top of that the recruiter I have been coordinating with has offered no support and does not even return calls or emails anymore. People keep telling me to turn to god, but I simply cannot do so. I fear that my life is ultimately going to amount to nothing.