That's a hard no.

My husband and I returned home after a night on the town and we were getting it on, We were doing well and I had the pleasure of being in my favorite position, Missionary with my legs up on his shoulders. Usually he grabs and gropes my bum which is always a nice bonus for me as well as him but last night he was doing his thing and I noticed he was getting a bit close to the wrong hole with his fingers and it is not uncommon to have a finger stray off course and touch it by accident but I never say anything and he always gets things back to where they should be but last night I felt his finger brush over it and then all of a sudden he shoved it in, Just his pinky apparently but...Yeah, Not ok.
I gasped and said "Nope, Nope, No, take it out", But just then he started coming so I took one for the team and let him finish, He was looking me in the eyes with his finger in my bum and his p**** in my v***** while he came, I was so weirded out and I know I was not making a very pretty face as it was happening but he was moaning "Good god that's f****** hot", So I have sperm running down my butt crack and he starts fingering my bum and I didn't mean to but I gagged and he stopped, I looked at him and said "Ok, I love you but if you don't get your finger out of my ass..." and he started laughing and pulled it out.
I made him wash his hands and when he got into bed I said "What the h*** was that", He shrugged and said "I just thought I would try it", I told him "No, Don't f****** try stuff without asking...F*****", He thinks it was funny but I told him it ruined a possible O for me and left me unfulfilled and I had to get up and go take care of myself in the shower after he fell asleep because I couldn't fall asleep being left hanging, I explained that it is unacceptable to shove a finger in my bum at any time but especially without asking.
Should I have to explain that to a guy I have been with for almost 20 years, Come on.

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  • He's obviously trying to branch out into new things and, like another comment said, people change over time. Sure he could have brought it up ahead of time, but I think smaller kinks that don't involve pain are OK as a surprise you can apologize for later. Lesson learned and moving on.

  • My wife and I have been together 30 years. I’ve had ED problems from back issues. Since I’ve had the ED I’ve made sure she’s taken care of as many times as she wants no matter how tired my hands get etc.because I want her to be satisfied especially if she had a stressful day and since I couldn’t get up I took care of her in many other ways. I’ve since gotten meds that help w the ED and can have normal s e x again but I still put her first. In the last year we’ve experimented. I was like your husband and wanted to try new things. One was backdoor fun. I eased into it’s the important thing. My wife communicates w me as we go. She would never let me do that and continue if she was uncomfortable or didn’t want it. She’d tell me right then. I would accept what she says. We’ve always been open w each other. I’ve always told her never to do anything s e x related that she didn’t want to even if it pleased me. I never want her to do as you did. It would hurt me tremendously knowing she “took one for the team” so to speak. And I would never, ever laugh at her over something like this. In my opinion only you both should have been communicating as it happened. When he kept his finger there for longer then normal you should have told him then to move it. My wife and I do things like that and if nothing is said then it’s ok. When we started backdoor play it was similar but when I rubbed the area she told me “go easy”. If I went too far she told me to stop. We like to experiment but not if it would come between us. Y’all should talk about and establish ground rules for experimenting.
    Finally he should never ever laugh at you or put you in that situation

  • I guess. I mean, after that long he should know what you are and are not into. But, then again, people change, what someone once found gross could now be taboo and kinky. You don’t know if you don’t try. Your husband was probably just testing the waters, maybe it’s a fantasy of his. You made your position clear, it ruined s** one time for you. That sucks but I’m sure you moved on from that. If your husband is looking to change a bit from your 20 year routine, maybe talk to each other about what you guys could do that you’re both into? I hope you got your O and I wish you well

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