After 17 years, I’ve realized my husband is an idiot

My husband is a f****** idiot, and so am I for sticking around. When our son was born, we agreed that I’d stay home & raise our child (which is thankless). My husband now resents that I don’t work!!! (It’s been 14 years & I’m 54 years old. Who the h*** in Hollywood would want me at this stage? I f****** hate him)

He doesn’t understand why we need to do accounting, forecasting, etc. I’m a total moron because I’ve allowed him to pay the bills for the past decade. I’ve tried to get in there & untangle the web, but I don’t understand the cluster f*** that he’s allowed our finances to become!!!!

I’ve researched an accountant (just to make heads or tails of our finances so I can take over), but he refuses to even speak with her. She has stellar credits.
I want to kill myself.!!!!!!