Cheating saved my marriage
You may not believe this but cheating saved my marriage. It's totally true. Both my husband and I have had an affair. It was me first. We had been married just four years. My husband and I were drifting apart and there wasn't much communication. We were still having s** together but not much else. I turned to an old lover and we had an affair that lasted about a year. My husband found out as it always happens that way when you least expect it you get caught. I thought he was going to throw me out of the house. Well to my surprise he didn't. Instead he sat me down and asked me if I loved the other man. I told him no and that I was sorry for causing him pain. He said that he still loved me and wanted to take me to bed. I was pleasantly surprised. We ended up making love all night long it was great. One thing he wanted was for me to be transparent about the affair. He wanted to know all the gory details. I reluctantly agreed. He asked if I enjoyed it. I told him that I couldn't lie and that yes I enjoyed it. The s** was great. He wanted to know who was bigger. That I lied about and said they were about the same size. I was afraid if I told the truth is would hurt his self esteem. He wanted to know what we did and how often we did it. He wanted to know if my lover came inside me. I told him yes he did. So we stayed married but there were times he would be mad at me and I think it was resentment over the affair.
Years past and we had our ups and downs. We went to a counselor for help and I think it helped some. The affair happened in our early twenties . Many years went by and I really took my husband for granted. Then when he turned thirty nine things changed. He met this new woman at work. He would come home and talk about her. Then one day he told me he had feelings for her. The next thing I knew he moved out and into a friends house. It was two single men living together. He bought a sports car and then started seeing the other woman. He said he wanted a divorce and that he didn't love me anymore. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. He was saying he didn't love me . I had put on some weight over the years and she was older but thin. So I lost weight and got really skinny hoping I could win him back. Some of my female friends told me to divorce him and move on. I didn't listen to them. I wasn't going to lose my husband . I kept sleeping with him giving him s** anytime he wanted it. I even sometimes stayed with him at his friends house and made love.
So he ended up living with the other woman off and on over six years. I was sharing him with her. She had him more than I did. In truth it was more like I was the mistress and she was his wife. She got him for all the holidays and got him whenever or if they had a fight he back to me. Yes I gave him whatever he needed. I didn't want to know what they were doing. I guess unlike him I just didn't think about those things. The thought of him being with her makes me angry so I just don't . Not a turn on to know he was having s** with her. I did ask him who he preferred one time. He said that there were things he really liked about both of us. In the end he told me that he really couldn't compare we were just different. She gave him some things that I couldn't. I gave things she couldn't. She was very jealous and accused him of looking and flirting with other women. It got bad at times. He told me one time how crazy it could get and I thought he was lying. Then I spoke to her and I realized he wasn't making it up. So he would come to me when it got too crazy. I was his safety net. Eventually he stopped working at the same place she did and that really changed things. He finally came back to me for good. She was still calling him and he met her a couple times. She wanted him back. She wouldn't go away. She even came to our house to see him when I wasn't there. You talk about mad. Finally he stopped all contact. I told him there is no room for anyone in our marriage but the two of us. My affair last about a year. His was six years plus. It's all part of our relationship now. He says he loves me and sorry for what he did to me. Then he tells me that he's glad I had my affair and hopes I got what I needed from that experience. I can't tell him that I'm glad he was with her. It took a long time but I know he loves me and he is truly sorry for his part. He said now he knows the burden of what I was carrying around with me. The baggage we all have from things we have done. He realized that affairs aren't the answer. Two wrongs don't make a right they just make things more screwed up. You can get over these things. Cheating doesn't have to be the end of a relationship. To me it's not a horrible thing that can't be resolved.