I decline your invitation to your pity party.
If you blame everyone else but yourself, I'm honestly going to call you out on it.
NO, THIS ISN'T ABOUT HEALTHY REACHING OUT.
I'm sure we can all see a clear difference, respect to people reaching out. Sending my love and support your way <3
Knowing somewhere in your heart that the problem you're venting about is solvable, yet are here wasting the listener's time blabbering.
Know you're being toxic in that very moment. Stop it.
This is the act of being an energy vampire.
A new term for a person that loves being listened too, even though there's nothing important to say. Stop yourself at times, is this conversation a balance between receiving and giving?
Receiving= Obtaining control of their attention.
Remember that, a lot of people get that transaction confused.
Some enlightening examples that will trigger flashes of people in your everyday life:
-Complaining about being overweight or gaining weight
-How much they hate their job or career
-How there's just so much stuff in their house or the constant need for more (consumerism)
-Being in a horrible relationship, "We broke up, but got back together... I hate him, but love how he loves me".. but still staying with them because they're their "ride or die"
-AND anything along the lines of the listener feeling like anything they're saying is like talking to a brick wall.
Being the problem that is so urgently deserving to be said:
Some people don't want to be fixed, because admitting you're your own hero and bad-guy is scary.
But let me repeat that again, SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO BE FIXED.
Now, if you catch yourself being drained, tired, and overworked from just giving an ear to one of these peoples. Know, that if they can't stand listening to themselves in solitude.
Why give them the privilege of your own time, YOUR solitude time. We learn best from admitting something within ourselves needs change.
You cannot change what you don't admit.
An example I had in my own personal experience, is a damaged girl at work.
She had overlapping piercings, crazy died hair, tattoos designs like she was a walking s*** comic book and worse she is heavily overweight.
I gave her a special book of mine, that she complains she never has time to read.
I gave her a listening ear about how this "year will be the year"- for her to "...get [herself] back into line" and not once pointed the finger in her own direction.
Alarmingly, I will never get that book back. Or all the time back from listening to her rubbish.
Overall, be polite about it. Find a way to zone out or decline giving help. They secretly don't want it.
Overall, don't trust people who cannot trust their own inner voices on how to be a better person.