I need help.
I am suffering with a mental illness fittingly names "chronic loneliness". If you don't know what that is I'll let you google it and see for yourself. If you already know what it is, chances are you are either suffering from it yourself or know someone that is suffering from it. All I ask is for some advice on how to get through it. I am only a young adult and am having a hard time dealing with it. I have had some suicidal thoughts but could never go through with it, mainly due to the fact that my friends and family would blame themselves and I cannot bear the idea of them being upset, especially my friends. I am closer to my friends than I am my family. My close friends mean the world to me and I would do anything for them, even though there are only really 2 people that I would class as being close enough to me for me to feel that way. I realise I rambled a bit there and I might do that a few times but I need to get all of this off of my chest. But anyway, as I was saying, chronic loneliness. If you have even bothered reading this far I'm hoping you are genuinely willing to help and know the causes and effects of chronic loneliness. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips as to how to beat it. Well I don't truly believe that beating it is possible but maybe some advice on how to get through the day without feeling that empty void in your chest. If you feel what I feel you know exactly what I mean... If you do know that feeling, then I sincerely apologise and wouldn't even wish that upon my worse enemy, there isn't an emotion that I have felt that has nearly the same effect both physically and mentally. Anything and everything that is genuine help is greatly appreciated. Please don't waste your time however telling me to talk to my family or parents or anything as they wouldn't be able to understand and as I said earlier, they would blame themselves and I cannot have that. Some of my friends already know and have spoken to me about it, but I will do most things to avoid talking to them about it as I hate feeling like a burden to my friends. I am also developing an alcohol problem/have already partly developed one, this is, however, the least of my concerns and it is the only thing I have found to get me through the day. Alcohol, and my best friend. She brings me so much joy it is an unfathomable amount, I don't know how to put it into words. Just to see her would make most of it go away and that does happen, however, because of this whole lockdown business that is not in the slightest possible. Facetiming is one thing and I don't know how to describe it as anything but an adrenaline shot. It's amazing whilst we're on the phone to each other, but as soon as we hang up it's back to square one. Hey, would you look at that I'm rambling again! Anyway like I've already said, any help or ideas would be hugely appreciated.Apr 2, 2020