Input and advice

I've been with my husband for 5 year married 1 year. After our first year together i had to have oral surgery due to being in a previous abusive relationship, the second year we brought a house and moved in together (his idea) in that 2nd year i noticed him becoming distant and the lack of sexual intimacy had faded yet i became pregnant, he was upset and insisted that i have and abortion he shamed me for getting pregnant to his friends behind my back, due to the stress i miscarried and he didn't care he never even ask how i was doing, year 3 i began to fall into depression from the lack of intimacy and him always being gone or busy but i wanted for nothing he provides for me materials, money ect, i started drinking and smoking weed heavily and gained 30 pds so one night while i was drinking i went through his phone and discovered that he was cheating online and in real life, i wasnt shocked but still hurt. He begged me not to leave and proposed to me; i excepted and started planning the wedding, 3 mos before the wedding i went through his phone again and he was still cheating online so i confronted him and he said it meant nothing so i forgave him again and continued on. The day before the wedding he tells me that he doesn't want to get married and we should postpone but that was not possible to we went through with it but he was 1 hour and 45 minutes late. He took me on a honeymoon to the Bahamas and i realised that i hate him!! Hes has turned into the perfect husband but i hate him, and i didn't mention that he has anger and rage issues that lead to verbal abuse. I want a divorce because im moving out soon but he continues to beg and cry for me to stay but i cant because i finally realize how he treated me, he used money and material things to cover his bad treatment of me. Our family and friends want me to give him a chance but i dont want too, im done

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