I wanted Mom to Spank me
I obsessively curious about spanking growing up but never once got one. Despite my interest, I was still afraid of them too. In my mind, it was the ultimate punishment. Still, the curiosity never stopped.
One time when I was 12, my mom actually did threaten to spank me one day for bad attitude and back talking. Both were true — I was acting up something awful that day.
I spent the whole day thinking about what it would be like if she had not just made the empty threat but had really put me over her knee and given me the spanking I richly deserved. Even then in my 12 year old mind, I knew I deserved it. But I was also terrified of the embarrassment and pain.
I thought really hard about asking Mom to spank me that day, but ultimately I chickened out. I was way too embarrassed to just up and ask and thought about writing a note for her to find and wait in my room.
I can only imagine how nerve wracking it would have been to go past the point of no return of dropping the note in the master bedroom and then having to just wait, not knowing when she’d actually find and read it. My secret hope/fear was shortly after, Mom would barge in my room and just immediately proceed to pull my pants and briefs down, put my across her knee, and give me a real spanking.
No matter how much it hurt and how humiliating it may have been, at least I’d finally know what it was like.
I still regret not going through with it.