Should of just ....

A few months back, I almost succeeded taking my own life. I was so close, but of course it just didn't happen. Obviously , since I am still here. I was in so much physical and mental pain, I wanted it all to go away. So I took some of my left over tramadols and bunch of ibuprofen ( a simple Google search would of told me, I wouldn't die at all. Just damage my kidneys and liver). I was so f***** up , I convinced myself I was self medicating to help stop the pain. I started to feel dizzy. I couldn't even remember my name. I was high, really high. And then I passed out. And the moment I woke up. I thought F***! My kidneys were hurting... My stomach was curling. I my head was throbbing, the room was spinning. I started vomiting. I thought I was in pain before. No this pain was different. I felt like I was going to die. Throw up my entire insides and be done for... But I didn't of course...

It's been a few months and I've been reading self help books and meditating. But deep down inside... I wish... I keep think I should of just went to the vault in the basement . I should just want to basement that night...

Some people may be thinking I'm weak. I'm a coward. But if you have nothing to love. Nothing to live for. No purpose. It doesn't matter anyway.

Report this

3 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • I have tried to commit suicide before but after the hospitals and humiliation of getting dragged down from a bridge or were you was gonna commit it I realised life is to precious we only here once it’s not a reahearsel just live with what we got nobodys perfect We all got problems in life and trust me this is not the answer from someone that knows x

  • I have same conditions. I will love you, spend time with you, we’ll have an awesome s** all the time. If that doesn’t work we’ll both write more BS confessions here...cheers ✌️😘😘

  • All you ungrateful people should be thankful ever day that you wake up .
    You live ln the western world and are in paradise compared to some poor souls .
    Just watch the world news and be thankful for all that you have.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?