Account Login
Eating
I binge at night. When my family is asleep I come downstairs and I eat. I eat as much as I can. I stuff myself like a pig and it's why I'm fat. It's why my face is round and I have a double chin. It's why I can't fit into normal sized clothes or chairs with arms. Its why I can't run or go up a flight of steps without breaking into a sweat. I binge and it feels so good and it's destroying my body. Sometimes when I find a new stretch mark or outgrow another pair of pants I feel ashamed and I'll want to punish myself for being such a gross fat pig, so I'll eat even more until it hurts. I feel out of control and scared. I repulse myself and feel turned on all at the same time. I hate this about me but I don't want to stop. I want to see how far I will go. How out of control will I get? How fat? How unhealthy? I think I need help, but I want to know what will happen if I don't get it. I'm honestly terrified that I feel this way because I'm doing it. Every night I'm doing it to myself. I'm gorging on junk and watching it manifest itself all over my big heavy growing body. I'm actively ruining my body. Internally with massive doses of fat sugar and salt. I can feel my health slipping away, but what excites me is the visual manifestation of that. I can see the damage I'm doing. The shameful excessive gluttony is visible and obvious and getting worse every day. I barely recognize myself in the mirror. Who is this fat disgusting blob? I've changed so much. Grown so much. My features distorted by fat. My limbs thick and heavy to lift, my hips wide, my waist gone - overwhelmed with flab that forms tire-like rolls that hug me and hang down to my cellulite covered thighs. I'm grotesque. Obese. That is what I did. That is me and more and more it is all I am as i slip deeper and deeper into this morbid endeavor. There is so much of me now and I am almost gone.
If you think morbidly obese hogs with burgeoning mobility issues are **, then yes I'm super hot! Hahaha! Tell me what it is you find so ** about me. Is it that I eat more fast food in a day than a family of 4 does in a week? Is it that I can't tie my own shoes anymore? Is it my 391 pound stretchmarked mess of a body that you like? Or do you like how out of control I am, giving in to my gluttony to such an extent that I have ruined any chance of a normal existence right along with my body and health? Does all of that turn you on? Because it does for me.
I love that you can eat so much, a 391lb woman packing in more food & adding more weight....so hot. The fact you are too big to tie your own shoes just means I'd have to do it for, like so many other things, a ** fatty needs to be spoiled, treated like a fat goddess. You being out of control is so **, already fat & only going to get fatter & sexier. So yes, all of it turns me on!
Imagine being, spoiled & pampered, told how ** you are as you get fatter & fatter, knowing you can just keep stuffing yourself & not worry how fat you end up.
I do need to be pampered. I need to be taken care of or I will need to be soon. I'm really struggling with all this weight. My body can't keep up with what I'm doing. It can't handle all the heavy hanging flab that I'm burying myself in. It's affecting everything I do and it's making me so lazy. I don't want to move at all anymore. I want to sit and I want to eat and I want to grow and I don't want to stop. How can I not worry about how fat I end up when all i want is more fat?
But how good would it be for you to just laze about, be pampered, eat & eat & eat, just get fatter & fatter & be worshipped for being such a ** fatty.
It's been a month, have you gotten fatter?