I binge at night. When my family is asleep I come downstairs and I eat. I eat as much as I can. I stuff myself like a pig and it's why I'm fat. It's why my face is round and I have a double chin. It's why I can't fit into normal sized clothes or chairs with arms. Its why I can't run or go up a flight of steps without breaking into a sweat. I binge and it feels so good and it's destroying my body. Sometimes when I find a new stretch mark or outgrow another pair of pants I feel ashamed and I'll want to punish myself for being such a gross fat pig, so I'll eat even more until it hurts. I feel out of control and scared. I repulse myself and feel turned on all at the same time. I hate this about me but I don't want to stop. I want to see how far I will go. How out of control will I get? How fat? How unhealthy? I think I need help, but I want to know what will happen if I don't get it. I'm honestly terrified that I feel this way because I'm doing it. Every night I'm doing it to myself. I'm gorging on junk and watching it manifest itself all over my big heavy growing body. I'm actively ruining my body. Internally with massive doses of fat sugar and salt. I can feel my health slipping away, but what excites me is the visual manifestation of that. I can see the damage I'm doing. The shameful excessive gluttony is visible and obvious and getting worse every day. I barely recognize myself in the mirror. Who is this fat disgusting blob? I've changed so much. Grown so much. My features distorted by fat. My limbs thick and heavy to lift, my hips wide, my waist gone - overwhelmed with flab that forms tire-like rolls that hug me and hang down to my cellulite covered thighs. I'm grotesque. Obese. That is what I did. That is me and more and more it is all I am as i slip deeper and deeper into this morbid endeavor. There is so much of me now and I am almost gone.

Oct 23, 2020

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  • You must be close to 500lbs now?

  • I am 486 pounds as of this morning. I have put on over 40 pounds so far this year and I still feel like I'm not gaining fast enough even though I'm honestly eating all the time. Like, if I'm awake I'm eating. What's crazy though is I wanted to get to 500 this year and I'm probably going to get a lot bigger than that at this rate aren't I? Oh my God, how fat am I going to get? This is scary and making me hungry.

  • It certainly sounds like you're going to get a lot bigger at the rate you're gaining. Possibly by the end of the year you'll be around 520+. "How fat am I going to get?". Enormously fat by the way you eat & how the extra weight, the bigger your body gets turns you on. You'll be like my wife especially if you find a partner that is turned on by your gaining, you'll gain more & more weight as you know it drives them wild & empowers you.

  • I am 5 pounds away from being a quarter of a ton. It is all I have been thinking about for the last two weeks. I even took off work this week, just to eat. No, that isn't true. I took off work to make myself fatter. I have literally done nothing but eat and pleasure myself since Monday and now I'm only 5 pounds away. I never thought this would be my life. I never thought I'd be racing to 500 pounds, but here I am and I can't stop. The bigger I get the more I want. I am monstrously obese and it's not nearly enough. I'm drinking a quart of heavy cream right now as I type this and it's my 2nd of the day. I need it to grow, to make me what I need to be, to take away whatever is left of what I was and replace it with more heavy useless lard because that is all I am now and all I want to be.

  • Oh, wow. I kind of forgot about this. I posted about 3 months ago about how it was nice knowing I’m not the only person doing this.

    Now, looking at your last few posts it looks to me like you’re not just still getting bigger but you’re growing faster too. Especially in the last month.

    And, I know what you’re going through because it’s happening to me too. I’m up to 425 lbs now, and it’s still going faster.

  • Hey, I was wondering how you've been doing. You're really blowing up too! Why do you think you're gaining so fast? I mean I know why I am. I've never eaten more or moved less than in the last few weeks. It's weird. I think I felt really out of control with my binging and all the weight I was putting on and I liked it. I liked the scariness of it, but now I feel in total control. Making myself as enormously obese as possible is my sole focus in life now and everything I'm doing is working towards that. It's a new feeling for me.

    So, what has it been like for you fattening up so much in the last few months?

  • Well, like I said, I’ve gotten hooked on how it feels to be stuffed to the brim with food and then some, for one thing, but all the changes my body is going through are keeping me going, too.

    My belly is big and round and heavy and growing bigger and rounder and heavier all the time and it feels so amazing and I just want, no, I need to get bigger and fatter and as huge as possible. It’s amazing to me how fast we can grow sometimes.

    When I’m not out somewhere I’m at home, no clothes on, stuffing my face. And I can’t keep my hands off my body either. It’s ridiculous how pleasurable this is.

    I imagine you’ve hit 500 lbs and gone past it by now?

  • I am up to 506 pounds now. I will say I thought reaching my goal for the year in only 6 months would have felt different. I don't know I thought I would have felt more or something. Like I was happy in a way and it made me super h**** to hear my scale read those numbers, but it still felt sort of empty. Like what do I really have to show for all of this? I am the size of a circus fat lady and everything in my life is harder because of it, but I can't stop. I guess that's it though. That's the addiction. You know. You have it too. So, I will attempt to fill that empty feeling as I always do, with absurd amounts of food because I'm not done. I need so much more of me.

    You are so right though. As hard as it is being this size, it is extremely pleasurable. Being this soft, this heavy, this huge is truly indescribable. You are going to love it. Are you catching up to me?

  • I’m 438 lbs now, so I must be catching up with you. When I’m out all I can think about is getting home, getting completely undressed and stuffing my face. One thing I’ve noticed is that the fatter I get, the better everything feels. The sensations I get from “play” keep getting more intense and longer lasting as my body continues to expand. Is this something you’ve also found?

    When I first accepted that I was going to get big I used to think about reaching 400 lbs, but that number keeps going up as my weight increases too. These days I think about 600 a lot and I’m almost certain that I won’t stop there either.

  • Congrats on putting on your first 200! I absolutely have found that to be true, yes. I think that's part of what's made this so addicting. The self gratification is unbelievable and only seems to grow right along with me.

    I like that you used the word accepted. Like you knew you couldn't fight the urge, so you allowed yourself to just balloon and become enormous. I have no doubt we're both headed for 600+ especially if you're already fantasizing about it. Have you thought about how you're going to take care of yourself when you get that fat? I think I've been purposely trying not to, but I know I should because I think we'll both be there sooner than we think.

  • “Balloon” is exactly the right word for what’s happening to us. We are both blowing up like balloons, our bodies filling with more and more fat. It’s intoxicating and self reinforcing, becoming more and more pleasurable with each pound.

    I really haven’t thought about what’s going to happen, but you’re right, we probably should. My first 200 lbs took a while, but my next 200 are going to pour on much faster. I’m up to 447 lbs today.

  • It really is more pleasurable the more massive I get. The feel of hundreds of pounds of fat enveloping and distorting my body is almost euphoric sometimes. I am so weighed down and encumbered by my own obesity that my life will never be the same and it has taken away so much, but the feeling of all this fat is absolutely worth it.

    What I find so stupidly hot though is that this isn't really "happening" to us. We're DOING it to ourselves. We have both eaten our way to being ridiculously fat. Seriously, you are almost 450 pounds! That's ridiculous. I am 510 pounds. We would still be obese at half these weights, but yet it still isn't even close to enough and I don't think it ever will be.

    I know I have a head start, but do you want to race me to 600?

  • You're getting so lovely & fat. My wife says it is extremely pleasurable being hugely fat, she has gotten even fatter since I last posted. She absolutely loves how soft & how heavy she is.

  • Do you know how much she weighs now? Has she noticed any changes with her recent gains? The other poster above has me thinking ahead to what it's going to be like when I pass 600.

  • Do you think that if you did decide to be in a relationship & he/she was happy for you to get really fat, that you would end up like my 740lb wife?

  • Yes.

  • There's an interesting discussion here that I have also been involved in, husbands with wives that are 684+ lbs. Just ignore the few haters.

  • Are you even heavier seeing you are going with your deep down need to get really fat?

  • Yes, I am heavier. I am always heavier and I think I always will be heavier because I cannot stop eating. It is all I do now. I don't see friends. I don't have hobbies. I don't date. I eat. I eat and eat and eat until I am about to burst. Then I either m********* or nap or both and start the process all over again. Obviously, this is causing some weight gain. Although, if I'm being honest, not enough. I am 458 pounds now and all I want is more.

  • I posted about 6 months ago asking your age and mentioned I was 326 lbs and then I forgot about it until now, so I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond.

    I’m 23 years old, and, to answer your questions, yes, I was always fat, but didn’t start down this “path,” as you call it, until the pandemic started 2 years ago and everything went into lockdown. I was “just” around 235 lbs then. With being less active and bored I started eating more. In 3 months I had put on 15 lbs. I was always neutral about my weight but for some reason I thought the extra lbs looked good on me and decided I wanted to try putting on more. I gained steadily that first year, reaching about 290 when one day I ate more than I usually did and wound up painfully full but instead of being uncomfortable it felt weirdly good??

    Something must have clicked inside me because I have been chasing that feeling ever since. As you can imagine the weight started to pour on and now like you I spend my free time stuffing myself to the brim and then “play” and nap. I am growing bigger and bigger and I just want more. At 384 lbs now I’d say I’ve given up trying to control it and I’ve pretty much decided to let myself go and let my body grow how it wants. I’m pretty sure I’m too far gone now to stop. Like you I keep thinking that I’m not big enough and, the fatter I get the fatter I want to become. It’s ridiculous how much this turns me on. But just knowing I’m not the only one who feels like this has helped me come to terms with it.

  • It makes me happy that sharing my journey is helping someone with their own. It is not easy. I think I've shared a lot about my struggles accepting myself like this. Accepting my desires, my needs, my weight, and my body has been really difficult. Most people with other fetishes can separate the rest of their lives from it, but I'm always 460 pounds (for now). You are always 384 pounds (for now). We are huge and we are growing. We can't hide that, so accepting it is so important, especially when we are honestly powerless to stop. I hope you don't mind me calling you huge, but I don't think you do. I hope you are happy and accepting of yourself. I am getting there. Are you dealing with a lot of negativity from your weight gain?

  • Coming to terms with this and accepting myself has been a process, as you well know. There are days when I look at myself in the mirror and be unhappy with what I see, but tbh that happens less and less now. Really letting go made this feel even more amazing than it did before and has led to a surge in my growth. I’m gaining so quickly I feel like I’m almost inflating with fat. I think I’m reasonably happy most of the time.

    As far as negativity from others, there’s been some, yes. Mainly from older members of my family and I think that it comes from their own discomfort with their own weight (although I’m a lot bigger than most of them now). I’m sure they talk about it behind my back.

    But, my younger sister, who had always been a little heavier than me when we were growing up (no longer, though, hahaha), has remarked that I seem happier overall since I’ve gotten so big. She’s pretty open minded and nonjudgmental but I haven’t been able to fully admit why to her. But she has made some statements that make me think she might have figured it out on her own.

    I really don’t mind you calling me huge. We both are huge, and on our way to becoming enormous.

  • Your happiness is all that matters. Happy sure is complicated when it comes with several hundred pounds of fat though. We are on our way to becoming enormous. I am almost there honestly and it sounds like you're catching up fast. There is no going back when you're this fat, so giving up and letting go is the best option for your happiness. It makes me happy that you are coming to terms with it.

    Do you think you will tell your sister what you're doing? I haven't told anyone.

  • Again I'm the one that has responded to many of your posts. Not just as an FA, I think it's great that you both have come to terms with your deep desires & are both starting to feel more comfortable with being yourselves. Seriously, you are only on this planet once, so why not enjoy your life as you want, as long as you're not hurting anyone. Both of you should find yourselves a loving, gentle FA that will spoil & care for you & be happy for you to get as fat as you want.
    As I have said, my wife is enormous, over 700lbs, but we've only recently had a discussion about how fat she has become. She explained that she is truly happy, the fact that I do everything, keeping the house lovely, bring her whatever she wants, how her size drives me wild & even feels comfort in the fact that because she is so fat & it's what I like, that there is no other woman that could attract me like she does.
    She never thought she would get so fat, let alone find that since she was heading for 600 that she loved how big she was getting, the softness, how her body wobbled, belly sways as she waddles & eating & eating was only making her get fatter.

  • I am starting to realize you are 100% right. This is my life and I don't want to spend it being miserable and at war with myself. I still wish this wasn't what I want, but I have accepted that it is what I want and that has made such a huge difference. I do not think I am ready for a relationship or maybe I just don't want one. I'm not sure, but I will need help eventually, pretty soon most likely at the rate I'm gaining. Your wife sounds beautiful and she is lucky to have you.

  • I'm happy for you that you've come to that realisation. You're definitely not the only one that has struggled in your mind at what societies perception of beauty is & that your perception of beauty is to surround you body in soft, sensuous fat. I've chatted to women in the same situation to gain insight into it & so many of them are turned on by how fat they are, find themselves looking at their bodies & find themselves sexier carrying a lot of weight. Yes, my wife is beautiful, I know many would say she is a morbidly obese pig, but I find her amazingly beautiful & so sexy. Absolutely everything about her being over 700lbs drives me wild. From her being 9'+ around the waist, how she only waddles a few steps & needs to rest because she's so fat, sitting on the 2 seat recliner her legs spread to accommodate her enormous belly which her stretch leggins are again got stretched seams as she putting on more weight. How sitting there asking me to bring her whatever food she desires as she runs her hands over her belly & say "I'm getting so nice & fat". If you want to know anything just ask.

  • Does she ever regret any of it? She seems to love the weight, but what about the mobility. That is what worries me a bit still. Getting around is going to be impossible eventually and probably pretty soon. I feel like I'm outgrowing the outside world and it turns me on like crazy. Does she get off on her limitations like I do?

  • She has never said she regrets it, although she does miss going out for lunch or dinner as she is simply too fat. She does love the weight she is carrying as she knows what it does to me & says it turns her on that she has gotten that fat & that she can have me anytime she wants. She is still mobile, this would be due to the fact she has exercised concentrating on leg strength. So she can can around the house, but in saying that it's very slowly. She can only take a few steps & she's huffing & puffing, rests & then a few more steps. I have to admit it turns me on, her massive belly sways with each step, fat jiggling & wobbling. She does get off on her limitations, I mean she can be puffing after a few steps or as she's taking those few steps & smile at me "oh, I'm so big & fat" or after eating run her hands over her huge belly "getting so fat". She loves the fact that I do everything for her & she is just eats & is putting on more weight. She has even said there is the only woman for me, no other woman can satisfy me like she does & she will gain more.

  • I always wanted her to get fatter, but now it's her, she is in control of me totally & she uses all that weight to turn me on, to keep her well fed, to enable her to gain more weight, get fatter & fatter. She says she is so turned on by the size difference, especially when making love & she looks in the mirrored robe doors & there's her 150lb hubby making love with his what must be 740lb wife.

  • I wish you a lot of luck with your 700lb wife. I wasn't so lucky with my wife. She passed away at over 800lbs. She was the love of my life and we had been together for 25 years and had 3 beautiful children together. We met in High School and dated all 4 years. We married soon afterwards while we were both in college. She was the fattest woman I had ever seen and I absolutely and unconditionally loved her for it...She was obese since childhood and came from a family of heavy people whose lives revolved around food. They were people that simply lived to eat and my gorgeous wife paid the ultimate price for it. She weighed 886 pounds when she had her first heart attack while I was at work. The part time care giver I had hired to take care of her didn't recognize the early symptoms (excessive sweating, jaw pain, shortness of breath) and when it became apparent what was actually happening it was too late.. She collapsed in the living room and EMS was called but due to my wife's huge size, they could do almost nothing for her. It took 10 people to move her into an ambulance. She stopped breathing in the ER twice but they were able to bring her back both times but unfortunately they could not fully stabilize her and she had a second heart attack 8 hours later which ended her short life. She
    was only 39 years old. I guess what I am saying is please for your lovely wife's sake, be very careful what you wish for. It's all fine and well to indulge her eating and her desire to be enormously fat but it comes at a terrible price... Keep a close eye on her health and learn the warning signs of impending health disaster. 700lbs is a dangerous weight. Even if she is feeling good the chances of a heart attack or stroke go up exponentially when someone is that fat. Please be careful as you do not want to be left alone to bury your lovely wife.

  • I'm sorry for the loss of the lady you loved unconditionally it would be devastating. It is certainly a risk for guys like us that are attracted to women 600lbs & over. I definitely have a problem with the feeders out there that fatten without consent, once they are either too fat or die, find another. The difference with our wives, they were either fat to start with, loved to eat which as they felt secure with us, indulged in that pleasure & the weight gain that came with it. I do have some concerns with my love of my lives increasing weight & do keep an eye on her health. She had a check up at my insistence only a few weeks ago, copped a serve from the doc about how much weight she's gained of course. But other than her blood pressure above normal everything else was good, surprisingly, could be the fact that she has little sugar intake, avoids overly fatty foods & exercises in our pool. But I'm guessing that like you, your wives increasing weight drove you wild & you couldn't stop enabling her desire to eat & you loved watching her eating herself bigger & bigger? Did you want her to be 886lbs? If she hadn't passed, would you have let her gain even more? As I said, I worry at times, but that fades when I see her waddling a few steps, her huge belly swaying, bum rolling, fat wobbling & she stops to catch her breath, because she's carrying so much weight. She uses all that weight to drive me wild as well. Tells me I need her bigger.

  • Has your family mentioned anything about your growth?

  • Considering they've watched me turn myself into an absolute land whale, yes there have been some comments. I've had diet suggestions, offers to go to the gym with me, general concern expressed over my health, lots of shocked looks and even a few gasps, I've been asked if I "really need" to eat things, and my aunt has even tried selling me on WLS.

  • Inspirational

  • Https://

  • I do apologise that I called BS, I found a woman just like you said, gaining to a massive size deliberately. The above link.

  • It has been a couple of months are you ok? Are you even fatter?

  • I am ok and I think we both know the answer to your second question. I am 442 as of this morning. Happy New Year! Someone below asked if I'd gotten any help and I think they mean like therapy which I have to admit I have thought about. I know I need it. This isn't normal and it isn't healthy and I don't care anymore and that also isn't normal or healthy. So, my new years resolution is either going to be start going to therapy to fix this before I'm too fat to get out of bed or hit 500 pounds. What do you think I should choose? You can also suggest your own if you like. I'm curious what you think. I won't tell you which way I'm leaning, but I am currently on donut #7 of 24 this morning and I spent new years eve alone except for a mountain of Chinese food and an entire black forest cake.

  • I read through your posts. I am not going to pick what I think you are going to choose. I am going to say you have already chosen to eat yourself even fatter. I know, I've done it as well. You like it "eating my way into pigdom". You want it, you like the shame that comes with eating yourself fatter & fatter.
    "I want to bury myself under so many layers of thick heavy fat that I become completely immobile, a wheezing pile of lard struggling just to breath under my own immense weight, Ok? I admit it. That is what I want".
    I feel that way also & tried to fight it, but just got fatter & fatter & god it turned me on, which made me just eat more. I had to gain more weight, add more fat, get bigger & bigger, surround myself in luscious, soft fat. To eat & eat & eat, knowing I was adding more & more weight made me wet, I would c** thinking how fat I getting.
    I have found a loving feeder that can't resist my desire to gain more beautiful fat. I had him playing with my 580lbs of fat & feeding me within 20mins of our first face to face meeting. I have him where I want him, fattening me endlessly now weighing 812lbs & immobile, but I'm not fat enough! I need to keep gaining, add more & more fat to this beautiful body, get as fat as I can, be the fattest woman ever!

  • I call BS!

  • Not BS honey. It can be hard to believe, but I am so turned on, even obsessed with my own fat as I got bigger. So much so that I want/need to get even fatter.

  • Yes! This exactly! I am completely obsessed, addicted, whatever you want to call it. I can not stop. I need to keep feeding, keep gorging myself fatter. You're almost twice my size and still want to grow which is crazy because I'm a tub and a half. It's so hard to explain, but I get it and I need it. I need what you and that other guy's wife have.

  • I don't know if it's BS or not, but I do wonder if that's where I'm headed. God, I kind of really hope it is.

  • You want it don't you? To get fatter & fatter. I called BS, but it might not, it just read like feeder fiction a bit. Although only the other day saw a woman that has eaten herself up to 834lbs, she is massive & wants to gain even more!

  • Yes! I mean, no. I don't want it. I need it. I want a normal life. I want to shop for pretty little dresses and fit behind my steering wheel, but that life is over. It is gone and buried under hundreds of pounds of useless flab. Now I need more. I need so much more of me.

  • Always pick the extra weight, your body will thank you for it

  • I don't think my body will be thanking me for getting so fat I can barely get off my couch, but I think i am testing your theory. I just ate a whole box of waffles for breakfast, drowned in butter and syrup and somehow I'm hungry still or I think I am. I can't even tell anymore, but I'm going to go stuff myself now.

  • See. Eating yourself fatter, so turns you on doesn't it? Adding more weight, more soft fat. You want to be so fat don't you?

  • Fatter than you can even imagine.

  • I am one that has regularly replied to your posts. It is not an easy choice to make really. On one hand, you are very turned on by the fact you are getting fatter & fatter & to be perfectly honest that is also a turn on for me. If I was younger I would love to be with you, love you, spoil you, show you that are a gorgeous, sexy big woman & let you get even bigger. On the other hand I see the conflict you are going through & maybe therapy may be an answer. In saying that though from chatting to other women in similar circumstances, a number of them feel it's just the way they are wired. Some loosing some weight, but found themselves feeling it's not them, they needed to be fat & gained the weight back & more. That actually made them happy.
    Maybe you need to find a FA, a gentleman, not just a fetishist, but a man that will do as I would, love, respect & cherish you. Care for your every need as you get bigger & bigger.

  • I see a woman who likes being fetishized. I’m only trying to help.

  • Different poster… you sound like a d***.

  • I have to add, that I am biased as my wife is probably 270lbs heavier than you. I never thought I'd want her that fat, but I do love she has gotten that fat. I don't consider myself a feeder, but definately an enabler, I haven't forced her to gain weight. She loves food, loves to eat, being spoiled & pampered & just eaten herself fatter & fatter. She was concerned, conflicted at times as she gained more weight, but came to a realisation that this is her, eventually embracing she was gaining more weight.

  • Wow, how heavy was she when you met her? Did she want to get that huge, like did it turn her on like it is for me? I haven't shut the door on therapy yet, but so far I've just been forcing as many calories into me as I can without actually popping. It just keeps getting worse. I was thinking that I don't want to spend the money on therapy, but it must be cheaper than all the food I'm buying.

  • She wasn't heavy when I met her, but always loved to eat. She gained & lost weight after having our children, but never got back to being the size she was. She didn't want to get fat but slowly gained weight, then I started enabling her & she got bigger. The bigger she got the more I enabled her, till she got to your size & was eating more, she just got fatter. Into the high 500's it was turning her on, loving me taking her on lunch dates etc... & eating huge amounts. She told me she would get fatter as she knew how much it turned me on & turned her on that all the weight did that to me. She has just gotten fatter & fatter. Couple months back she was 283cm around the waist & tells me she is so nice & fat.

  • Your wife is absolutely enormous and I love that she is happy that way. I don't know if I will ever be, but I am set on getting there either way. Thank you for sharing and trying to help me. I seriously may still go for therapy some day, but I'm all in on piling on as much weight as possible. I am going to hit 500 and I am not stopping.

  • Hope I have helped. Maybe you might find yourself happiness as you get fatter & accept it. I also hope you find a loving person to help you, cherish you. Yep, my wife is enormous, I say around the 730 mark & continues to eat & eat. I do find myself feeling some guilt at times as I can't stop myself from enabling her to get so fat, but god it turns me how fat she is & getting fatter. She could end up like the woman in that link, but even that thought turns me on.
    Even what you have said in your recent replies is hot to me, get nice & fat.

  • Sounds like you’re taking your wide load to 500. I get the feeling that as embarrassed as you are at eating your way into pigdom, you really like it too don’t you? Is your husband disgusted by you? Or does he secretly love it as well? And how were the other 17 donuts?

  • Not married and they were just ok, but full of empty calories. So they were perfect really, exactly what I need to keep eating my way into pigdom. Oink!

  • Thinking about you growing yourself even bigger with no one to appreciate your rolls is so f****** sexy…

  • I appreciate them. I love them and caress them and feed myself a stupid amount of food to keep them growing and to make new ones.

  • Have you gotten any help? Or are you still liking the feeling too much?

  • I read through your posts, as others have said don't beat yourself up over getting fat. My wife was much like that as well, love for food, put on weight & beat herself up over it. It's all because of societies perception of fat, decades of fat phobia drilled into us. I love my wifes weight gain, I haven't fattened her as in forcing her to eat, enabled yes. Pretty much spoiled her & her love of eating. She has just gotten bigger & bigger until she was 462lbs & she then accepted she was a fatty & going to get fatter.
    She now weighs 584lbs & loves how fat she is, even to the point she'll run her hands over her fat body, smile & say "So nice & fat". She, like you has admitted she can't & doesn't want to stop stuffing herself & will only get fatter & fatter. I actually think she is now actually fattening herself up.

  • Any updates? How does your partner feel about it? Are they fat too?

  • I've found that really fat women are the best at eating p****. They go for a really long time, love the taste, want to please and get really hooked on it. If you're eating my p**** maybe you won't be eating other stuff and you'll lose weight plus I'll be super happy and so will you. Midatlanic area? Let me know. My legs are open and waiting for your mouth.

  • That’s very thoughtful of you.

  • Honey, stop being miserable over this. Find yourself an FA (fat admirer) he will love you for who truly are, a woman that loves to eat & being fat.
    There is people that will tell you other wise & that I am for example gross, a fat pig, morbidly obese. Well, I may be a fat pig, I do stuff myself, morbidly obese, yes I am weighing 657lbs. Gross, not at all, I take pride in my looks even though I am hugely fat.
    My husband loves me, can't keep his hands off my fat body, playing with my rolls, rubbing my belly. When i met him I felt like you, he taught me to love who I am. I relaxed, let me enjoy my love of stuffing myself. I got fatter, bigger, heavier, I loved the freedom, happier. So much so, I just went with it. I love being able to just stuff myself, it feels so good & just got fatter & fatter. It turns me on. Even though I'm 657lbs of hugely fat woman, he makes me feel so sexy, so much so, I fully prepared to keep stuffing myself.

  • Great t hear you found someone to appreciate all your heft. Did you start getting a lot fatter once you found a partner who likes it?

  • You poor thing, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. I was also worried about my weight, not that I was fat & yo-yo dieted if I did gain some. My problem is I love to eat. I met my husband got married & again gained weight with my first pregnancy & again freaked out, even though hubby said he didn't mind the extra weight. I lost weight, then blew up even bigger with my second pregnancy. Again freaking out, again hubby saying it was ok. But I dieted again. I hated dieting, struggled to stick to any diet.
    About 9 yrs ago hubby sat me down, told me to stop freaking out about my weight, that he loves me no matter how big I got & actually would like me bigger. I did finally wake up, what was I doing, I wasn't happy, content in myself. So a gave it all up. I put on weight, l ate what I wanted, I was so much happier. I grew to like the added weight, the curves. I got bigger & found I loved myself bigger. So much so, I am over 400lbs. I'm big, proud, dress nicely & don't care if I get even bigger.
    Don't suffer, go with it as others have said, you'll find a man that will love you big & treat you like a queen.

  • I agree. You sound sexy. I think you need to let yourself accept the large you and enjoy your life more.

  • Grow fatter pig. You know you need it. I’ve gained 200lbs in the last 10 years and I’ve ruined my once fit body with fat rolls.

  • You are not gross, you sound sexy. You say you like the visual manifestation of your stuffing yourself, I bet it turns you on how fat you are getting?
    You need someone who loves you fat and wants you fatter to feed & love you, praise your getting fatter and fatter.

  • It does turn me on. What's wrong with me? I am gross, a gross fat pig. I don't want to be praised for what I've done, what I'm still doing to my body. I want what I deserve. I want to be ridiculed. I want to be treated like the fat disgusting whale I've eaten myself into. Did you know I can't even put my shoes on without getting short of breath? That I sweat from standing in the shower? That my legs and back hurt from carrying all this weight? And that even with all that I can't stop eating? I can't stop. I spend all my money on food. Bad food. I force it into me and watch it pile up on my bulging flabby form. I have never felt more helpless because I feel like I've stopped even trying to fight it. I regret it and i beat myself up for it afterwards but I'm right back at it the next night and the next and the next and I'm getting fatter and fatter and oh my God, I'm SO FAT now! I'm going to be enormous. I'm scared, I'm obese, I'm hungry, and I'm going to EAT.

  • It’s been another month… you’ve chowed yourself into even more weight, haven’t you? What’s the latest meal you snuck? Just so you know, my wife is the exact way and if your family is the same, they all know when you think you’re sneaking an eating session….

  • Do circuses still have fat lady exhibits? Seems like you are training for the role.

  • As I said, it turns you on & you said "yes it does"! Some where you have feedee tendencies, you are turned on by the weight gain, deep down you are liking the look & feel of the added fat. It's probably the fact the society & your parents have drummed into you that fat women look bad. I can tell you, there are infact a lot of men like big women, even very big women over 500lbs. You need to get over the fact that you may be wired to wanting to get very fat or you are only going to prolong your misery.
    I hope that helps.

  • I know you are right, but it's just so hard to accept.
    How do I just accept that I'm on my way to being freakishly fat? If I keep this up and I know I will, I will be over 500 pounds. I will be too fat to drive, maybe even walk. I'm on my way to being on my 600lb life and yes, it turns me on! I am totally getting off on ruining my body. I love what I've done to myself. I truly love that I turned myself into a massive morbidly obese porker and I never want to stop. I want to bury myself under so many layers of thick heavy fat that I become completely immobile, a wheezing pile of lard struggling just to breath under my own immense weight, Ok? I admit it. That is what I want. It just scares the h*** out of me that I'm making it happen.

  • Find yourself a fat loving man & go with it. There are lots of men that love hugely fat women & some are really nice, that will love, worship, spoil you for who you are.

  • Here, read through some of the posts here.

  • I know there are guys that like huge fatties like me and I know there are guys that would love to help me keep blowing up, but I need to come to terms with what I'm going to be first. You know, when I wrote my first post, I had just hit 350 pounds. I couldn't bring myself to admit I weighed that much, but I did. I am now 388 pounds. I gorged another 38 pounds onto this body in just the last 6 months. I was always chubby, but I used to yoyo diet when I still had some willpower. I stopped dieting and started binging almost 4 years ago. At that point I was at my heaviest so far and I felt like such a failure, such a disgusting pig. Do you know what I weighed then? 194 pounds. I have doubled my weight since then. Doubled. I started binging to punish myself. I was ashamed of being fat and wanted to hurt myself, so I stuffed my face. I sat in front of a mirror, looking at my pudgy belly and dimpled thighs and I ate. I was repulsed by what I saw and I forced so much food into my swollen gut that it hurt, but I really liked it. I mean I REALLY liked it, so I did it again and again and I started sneaking food at home and gorging on fast food in my car and I couldn't stop and i didn't want to stop and the pounds started piling on and I needed new clothes and my appetite grew and raged and I felt heavy and embarrassed and so turned on and now I'm here. I have lost all control. I am morbidly obese and binging daily and purposely (purposely!) shoveling the most fattening food I can find into my fat distorted face. Today I ate 2 big mac meals with large fries, a shake, and 20 mcnuggets on my way home before dinner, in my car, with the steering wheel pressing into my gigantic gut, and sweating just from eating.
    Hahaha. I am a couple of months maybe weeks away from weighing over 400 pounds and nowhere near being finished and honestly I'm excited. I want it. I want all of it.

  • Keep eating, get even fatter, huge fat women are incredibly sexy. You sound sexy.

  • If you think morbidly obese hogs with burgeoning mobility issues are sexy, then yes I'm super hot! Hahaha! Tell me what it is you find so sexy about me. Is it that I eat more fast food in a day than a family of 4 does in a week? Is it that I can't tie my own shoes anymore? Is it my 391 pound stretchmarked mess of a body that you like? Or do you like how out of control I am, giving in to my gluttony to such an extent that I have ruined any chance of a normal existence right along with my body and health? Does all of that turn you on? Because it does for me.

  • I love that you can eat so much, a 391lb woman packing in more food & adding more hot. The fact you are too big to tie your own shoes just means I'd have to do it for, like so many other things, a sexy fatty needs to be spoiled, treated like a fat goddess. You being out of control is so erotic, already fat & only going to get fatter & sexier. So yes, all of it turns me on!
    Imagine being, spoiled & pampered, told how sexy you are as you get fatter & fatter, knowing you can just keep stuffing yourself & not worry how fat you end up.

  • I do need to be pampered. I need to be taken care of or I will need to be soon. I'm really struggling with all this weight. My body can't keep up with what I'm doing. It can't handle all the heavy hanging flab that I'm burying myself in. It's affecting everything I do and it's making me so lazy. I don't want to move at all anymore. I want to sit and I want to eat and I want to grow and I don't want to stop. How can I not worry about how fat I end up when all i want is more fat?

  • But how good would it be for you to just laze about, be pampered, eat & eat & eat, just get fatter & fatter & be worshipped for being such a sexy fatty.

  • It's been a month, have you gotten fatter?

  • I have. I tried to stop myself from doing this anymore. I had let myself get carried away. I read the comments on here and I let myself start to accept my fate and allow myself to eat without feeling so guilty, but it's all just a way to delude myself. What I'm doing is not ok and I have really tried over the last few weeks to stop, but I can't. I just can't. I am over 400 pounds. I don't know my exact weight because I am now too fat for my scale. The sick part is I was excited when I stepped on it and I saw it error a couple of weeks ago. I was excited to be so obese that I need a special scale! I was excited and then ashamed and embarrassed. Ashamed to be excited and embarrassed by what I've become. I am grossly, morbidly, hideously obese. People stare. People laugh. People make comments. People assume I'm some pathetic out of control pig and they are right! They are absolutely right. That is all I am now, a pathetic 400 pound pig. A pig that is one again up in the middle of the night gorging on leftover spaghetti and donuts and

  • Dearest, I cannot give advice according to my profession, but I can give you advice as a man who went into psychology and therapy because I was a closeted FA and Feeder who knew nothing of the community; I was so disgusted in finding I lusted after obese women (the bigger and more helpless, the better) that I remained chaste well into my twenties. I consigned myself to a life lived alone.

    But I met a psychologist teaching courses in sexual psychology and deviance who changed my worldview. I'll give it to you straight. Everyone goes through life looking for their bliss. And, for those of us lucky enough to find it, it becomes our reason for existing. We let it dominate us, control us, and even kill us; because it's worth it.

    The problem is that other people exist. And they have formed societies that you are born into. Their values and notion of the life you're supposed to live is pressed upon you before you can walk. And you fear they will turn on you and call you an outcast if you give in to your bliss. That's what causes such turmoil in you. You have discovered your bliss, but society has vetoed it.

  • So you have to decide: live a long, half-assed life of constant warring with yourself whenever you see food, or find a partner with the resources and interest to help you once you're too big to help yourself; plan ahead for immobility and worsening health by finding an FA who is a physician that will help, start treating your skin now to reduce stretch marks and skin tearing, imagine the sort of room that you want to spend the rest of your life in, and then see about making it happen. Decide if you are with him to let your family see you at the sizes that are record-breaking, as you may have to move and alienate yourself from them otherwise. And finally, you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that you will die much earlier than a normal person's lifespan lasts. That is the price you will pay. Thus, plan how you wish to go. Because a number of maladies could result in a slow and agonizing death, as opposed to a decision between you and your partner involving quick euthanasia. It's a hard thing to think about. But if you're serious, and you're going to cast off every notion that society has tried to press on you, you are going to let your bliss control and kill you because you love it that much, then you will make these decisions. Until you have decided, you will be at constant war with yourself.

  • Your words are painfully true. I wanted to cry reading that, but also eat an entire cake and struggle to touch myself. Why am I like this? Why don't I want to stop? Why have I given up everything to ruin myself like this and why do I love it? I am on my way to exactly what you described and I know it and I hate admitting it but I want it. All of it. And it's getting close.

  • I have responded to you previously. I would take everything that JJ has said as gospel about getting fatter. There are some very fat women who have some health issues but not too serious & are also gaining more weight.

  • Thank you. What he said was very scary, but it resonated with me because a lot of it is very true. I am heading down the road he laid out. I am enormous now and only getting bigger. I beat myself up internally and on here I guess, but I'm not fighting it. I'm not stopping. I'm not dieting. I'm too out of shape to exercise, but wouldn't if I could. I'm not even holding back or trying to maintain. No, I'm actively stuffing myself daily, pushing my limits and forcing myself fatter. This is it for me. It is all I have.

  • Out of curiosity, how old are you, OP? I’m finding myself heading on the same path as you, but I’m not as big yet. I’m “only” 326 lbs right now.

  • I am 32. How old are you? Be careful heading down this path. It can feel lonely and is so extremely h****** your body. I would suggest getting off while you still can - if you still can. Once you give in it is almost impossible to stop. Have you given in? You say you're only 326 which is small compared to the flab mountain I've become, but you are already very fat. Have you always been or is this recent? In my experience the changes from 350 or so to whatever ridiculous number I am now are drastic. Once your body becomes overloaded with lard like this, the struggles just seem to multiply with any added weight. Be careful, but if this is also your path, good luck! It's really not all bad and if you find yourself unable to resist that is OK. I beat myself up a lot, but nobody is perfect and you are not alone.

  • How about now, a month later? Have you gotten even bigger?

  • I guess it's time for my monthly update. Yes, I am even bigger. I still haven't bought a new scale, so I don't know what I weigh. I know that I have never been bigger or fatter though. I am huge and swelling more every day. My life now revolves around food and stuffing myself fatter. I am so big and heavy and I look ridiculous. I'm a freak. A fat sweaty waddling freak. I can't really do much of anything normal people do anymore, so all I do is eat. I plan my days around stuffing myself. It is all I have left and it has beaten me. My body is beyond repair at this point. This is my life now. I live to eat, I eat to get fatter, and that's it. I didn't want this to be my life or maybe I did. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I just want to eat. I want more fat, more weight, more heavy restrictive suffocating weight. I am going to keep piling more and more hideous lard onto my ridiculously obese body until I can't.

  • Stop saying you're a freak, you are not a freak! you are just wired differently, as am I. Some of the things you say are seriously hot, an amazing turn on. "I live to eat, eat to get fatter". You really need to find a fat loving gentleman, who will, love, care, attend to your needs. To tell you how beautiful, sexy, voluptuous you are as you get fatter & fatter. Enjoy you choice of lifestyle rather than loathing it, beating yourself up over it.

  • Hey OP have we any update - have you bought a new scale ? Have you ever considered getting weighed in public on a big mall scale ?

  • I did buy a new scale. I almost posted about it a couple of weeks ago, but felt stupid running to announce unsolicited how fat I had gotten. Although, I guess that's what I had done originally isn't it? Anyway, it goes up to 700. I almost got one that only goes to 550, but can I honestly say I wouldn't outgrow that? No. As insane as it is, I think me blimping up over 550 pounds is a very realistic possibility. I am stuffing myself relentlessly. I don't feel satisfied until I'm at the point where I'm in pain, so even though I'm eating all day I'm still feel like I'm starving and I gorge at night to fill the void. I'm eating an ungodly amount of calories daily and even started supplementing with shakes because I need as many calories as I can possibly get inside me. I weigh 426 pounds as of this morning and I will weigh even more tomorrow. Do mall scales go that high? Who knows, maybe I end up needing to get weighed at a truck stop eventually?

  • I've been following & commenting on your posts since you started. Sounds like you have embraced being a sexy, gluttonous lady, destined to weigh at least 500lbs. But from what you are saying will get fatter & fatter, eating yourself bigger, needing more & more food to satisfy that beautiful fat body, gaining more sexy, soft fat. I think you are a goddess, keep going.

  • You know, I never thought about being weighed in public before. I always hated being weighed at the doctor's office, especially when my binging really started getting out of control and I began blowing up. I knew I was getting huge and was being judged for it. Now, I'm just a waddling mound of blubber. I can't even dress myself without breaking into a sweat, just standing up takes effort. It might be fun to weigh myself in front of disgusted onlookers. God, I'd be so embarrassed for them to know my weight. I mean, they can see I'm a massive pig, but for them to know the number of just how big, how grossly fat I've forced my body to become, that would be utterly humiliating and I think I want it. I want them to know. I want them to point and laugh. I want them to see me for the pathetic obese hog I am. Good idea!

  • You might be a hog, but not pathetic. A goddess, a queen, that deserves to eat as much as she wants & get as fat as she wants.

  • Imagine you standing there with a burger in your hand - rolls of fat overflowing your clothes - people pointing at you slightly in disbelief at the numbers in front of you. what a rush - what a turn on

  • Omg

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