I'm having an affair and I don't feel bad about it.

I tried to make this short but I needed to add the boring background.
I was raised & homeschooled in a small MS town outside Jackson by my retired grandmother and met Ben at youth group when I was 16. After hs, we carpooled to a local private Christian College. My grandmother passed away before I graduated, Ben and I got married because I was pregnant. I miscarried at 5 months :(
Ben got accepted to a Master’s program at a school in Atlanta. I was nice moving out of town to a fresh start.

I got a job with a temp agency doing contracts with Mike as my mentor. He’s 61, retired Navy and a part-time consultant. He has grown kids and grandkids and his wife died from breast cancer 3 years ago. Instead of retiring full-time he signed another contract to work part-time. During training we got along well and became lunch buddies. He’s lived an exciting life and I love talking to him. We were talking about healthy recipes and shared phone numbers & friended each other on fb and Pinterest. When not at work we message and comment on each other’s pins. He’s the only person I can call a close friend in this area.

Ben made friends with guys in his master’s program and our apartment became the hang out for drinking and gaming. I was constantly cooking and cleaning up after them. During the lockdown, I started working from home they’d STILL come over! I wasn’t happy about it but Ben told me to ‘deal with it’. I had to be the adult in the room and put my foot down when one guys tried to light a joint inside! I get drug tested often and I can’t have our apartment smelling like pot! Ben and I didn’t speak for 5 days. He pouted and slept on an air mattress in the spare room and stayed with his friends some. I’d started venting to Mike. He agreed with me and added I’m a temp and if I test positive for pot, I’d loose my job instantly! People with the company have an option for rehab but not the temps. it’s Zero Tolerance! and I'd handled the situation perfectly.

In June, Ben planned a ‘guys trip’ to Miami. This was the first time I wasn’t invited and felt a little bummed. I stayed up late chatting with Mike. He asked if I’d be interested in meeting up for lunch on Friday. He only lives 20 minutes away. In my head I was thinking, ‘why was my Ben going to Miami and I’m not invited?’ and it’d been 8 weeks since we last had **.
I’m still leery of restaurants so I told Mike I’d come over and cook for him and he’d select the wine. He’s a flirt but nothing outrageous. I told him I’d wear something nice.
Ben and friends left Friday morning. I put on last year’s Easter dress, picked up my curbside grocery order and went to Mike’s.
He met me outside. I loved his smile and he complimented my appearance. He poured me a glass of wine and we took a tour of his house. He’s a perfectionist. LOL. We were in a swing on the patio sipping wine and talking. He kept staring at my legs. I was a little buzzed but loved the attention.
He put his hand on my leg and we started kissing. Things moved fast and soon we were in the bedroom having **. He’s amazing! TMI: He got me off and I felt so embarrassed! We had ** again after dinner then sat in the swing and talked till it was late.
He’s a polite gentleman and asked if I’d like to spend Saturday golfing with him a few co-workers or he’d cancel if I wanted to do something else. I’d never golfed before so he offered to rent me clubs if I’d go.
I met at his place and we rode together. His friends are super nice. They took time to teach me how to ‘drive’ the ball and use a proper ‘putting stance’. BTW: Mike looks HOT in golf shorts! He has a muscular ** and legs. I enjoyed the day. We had drinks at the outside bar. They’re fun to hang with.
At Mike’s, we enjoyed wine while cooking salmon & wild rice together. We had intense passionate ** this time and I stayed the night. TMI: He got me off again! I’ve never experienced the big ‘O’ two days in a row.

Ben returned from his trip and never initiated **. I didn't either. After 2 weeks, still nothing.

Mike got his boat serviced and I met him at the marina the next weekend. I said, ‘I’m staying with a friend’. Ben quickly made plans to stay with his friends.

Mike’s a friend I can confide in. My emotions are all over the place when we’re together. I fell anxious and calm. I can’t explain it but I enjoy it. TMI: When we have **, our bodies connect well and he can make my body shiver with pleasure.
I admit and confess that I’m a bad wife for cheating. I’m a horrible person. However, I can’t explain why I don’t feel bad or have emotions of remorse. For now, I enjoy being with Mike and want Ben decide where our relationship needs to go.

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  • A lot of information here, but you don't mention the age difference between you an Mike. I am assuming it is quite a big gap so leaving your husband to marry Mike would probably not work out. Clearly Ben does not appreciate you in anyway and that is unlikely to change. I think you should consider winding it up and getting a divorce so you can find a loving partner for the rest of your life. In the meantime continue to see Mike as he makes you feel good about yourself and have the freedom to explore your sexuality. Experience with an older man will provide you with a good foundation to know what qualities to look for in a relationship with a younger man. My wife did this before I met her and we discussed this in great detail. I found her to be very mature and confident because of this and it brought out a slightly submissive side of me that I was not aware of. This change in me led me to totally worship her and I was so proud that she had this affair with a much older man. After we married she confessed that although she loved me dearly, she still thought about him quite often. At my suggestion, she contacted him and began meeting him occasionally. At first it was just a dinner date or joining him for a business function but gradually it was obvious that they were both sexually aroused in each others company. She wanted to break it off, but I could see how much she enjoyed these meetings so we agreed she should continue ti fully resume her affair with him. I love her even more now

  • Long story short: You and your first partner(husband) have nothing in common. Or lived yourselves apart. And people get board from previous live or experiences.
    So you want change (conscious or not). Thats it , finish .
    when ** stopped with first partner, you became pre-programmed to cheat. Cause everybody likes/need **.
    (** is a basic need byside food,sleep, moving or freedom)
    Then a guy comes across, which have luck in live(well situated) or just knows about healthy lifestyle and sport, maybe some other stuff including how to act with females .

    Also he has a high position in work. This puts him in better "light" when connecting to you. And make you more open, makes you more good feeling when you are around him. Which later can also lead to better **, cause YOU are more opened and YOU have more trust to him ,cause of all this "Symbols" or hints like wealthy situation and gentleness.

    A guy who also is friendly towards you or gently in general so it makes you feel comfortable or even atracted/triggered . Also a guy who just want have a young lady for **, as his life has good job,security,food, cars, and so on.
    So he like to get young women for **, to make the list completed. Nobody can blame him for that.
    Not blaming you too.
    it just nothing special. Not even need to be mentioned i guess.
    People lives themselves apart.
    And you feel nice around that second partner cause he is friendly, pay attention and most importantly Has a wealthy situation. That all give you the image that can provide good life. An image that if you connect with him you will have better life too. that makes you open and trusting towards him.
    Means he represent a secure situation.
    And overall he just hooked you and you accepted cause it gave you benefits.
    i am male in my 20's, i could see that , everybody can logicaly see it.

    have a good day everybody, Niven

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