I’ve never had any friends

I’m in my late twenties and never had any friends. I’ve never had a best friend. I’ve had one certain girl pretend to be my friend so she can tell her real friends all my secrets and make fun of me. In middle school I tried really, embarrassingly, hard to make friends but I was always rejected. Maybe there’s a sign above my head that says something that makes people not like me.

I’ve never a first consensual kiss. I was sexually abused as a child, even so, I always dreamed of all the milestones I’d experience as a teenager, but never had. I have never even held hands with a boy. Boys I had crushes on would ask me out as a joke and they and their friends would mock me until I dropped out. I had to finish high school in home study.

My entire life I have only felt completely lonely and never had anyone want to be close to me. I tried hard to be social and make friends - it fails every time. I wish I knew what is wrong with me that makes every person I encounter immediately not like me.

No amount of therapy has helped and it hurts a lot. I’m trying my best to live with the fact I’ll never have friends, never meet a man that’ll love me, never fall in love, never marry, and never have children. I’d do anything to just be okay with all of that already.

Mar 20

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  • Gets overwhelming as it goes on and sets itself in as routine.. , unless you embraces it. Enjoy your uncompromisising schedule and particular quirks or deviations ..lol still get what you need from others warmth good chats witty debates.. Benders and flirts with an idea. Get down with your demons xo they have mad powers

  • Why is it important to find try that
    " special person " and be in a relationship ?
    It may never happen and that is probably for the best.
    You are better off alone .
    Like me ,learn to depend on the one person that won't lie to you or mistreat you - YOURSELF.
    People lie, cheat and are generally out for themselves.
    I with 60 years of experience.
    I'm alone and I love it.
    My last dodgy relationship was sixteen years ago and she was s******* another geezer behind my back.
    Happens all the time.
    Now I love my sports car only and I know she'll never let me down
    Trust me, you're better off on your own.
    Life is a b**** and then you die.

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