I am so attracted to a female co-worker it hurts!

I am attracted to the blonde secretary at work and have been for 14+ years. She is over 50 now but drop dead gorgeous! Honest to God, 99.5% of women aged 18-50 can't compete with her beauty. She could have easily made a very comfortable living in the modeling industry. My attraction to her is not only physical but emotional as well. I love her personality and the way she treats people. A good all-around person.

All my life I have heard of men seeing a woman and getting weak in the knees, having one's heart skip a beat, or having your breath taken away. I thought this was all hollywood or romance novel BS until I met this woman. So many times over the last 14 years upon seeing this woman I have gone weak in the knees or been stunned by her beauty. She has fabulous fashion sense and dresses so classy and **. Oh, my friends. If only you could see her! She has the SEXIEST, most perfect ** and hourglass shape you will ever see. PERFECT! If you see her wearing something extra ** I guarantee you will not be able to think of anything else for a day or two after.

I am not the only male at work attracted to her. I have seen at least ten male co-workers (all married, like me) sneak quick peaks or take long stares at her when they could.

I want to bed her. She dominates my waking thoughts and tempts me in my dreams. I have had several dreams over the years where we made love. They were awesome, but only that-- dreams. My heart and loins long for her, crave her, yearn for her attention and notice like I never knew a body and mind were capable of. I literally want her so much it hurts. I fear that if she ever did show the slightest sexual interest in me that I would commit adultery with her as fast and as often as I could. Yet, I do not want to cheat on my wife and destroy my family. I have never tried intentionally flirting with her, partially because I am too ** shy. I love my wife, but man, when this woman shows up all I can think about is her. I am ashamed to say that there have been numerous times when I was ** my wife that I wished that I was married to and ** this secretary instead.

I've tried so many things to get her out of my mind and to think of something else but nothing works while I am anywhere near her. I have to be away from her for days to get her out of my mind. Seeing her is painful, smelling her perfume is painful, hearing her voice is painful, seeing her give attention to others is painful. I want her but can not have her! I am at a loss as to what to do. She is so damned attractive, in every way. Anyone else ever had something similar happen to them? If so, how did (or didn't) you handle it?

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