This is SO embarrassing!
I finally had s** with my husband’s friend and it wasn’t what I expected!
My husband and W became friends over 20 years ago when they were stationed in SD together. W’s single, attractive, sandy hair, sky blue eyes, clean cut, muscular chest & arms. He’s a fit surfer boy with a high paying job at a consulting firm. IMO his taste in women always puzzled me. I’ve witnessed a tall thin 10 approach him to only for him to turned her away but later on in the same night, he’ll leave with a short thick girl wearing tunic & leggings wearing flip flops. WTF! When buzzed on whisky, he’ll say ‘I don’t have any luck with women and it’s because of my huge d*** and they can’t keep up.’ Judging the girls he picks. I actually believed that s***!
I’m a nutritionist/health coach, 5’ 1” and mother of 2 grown boys. My husband and I run marathons as a hobby. I take pride in staying fit and healthy.
I need to mention W & I flirt. We have for years and hubby doesn’t mind. W says I have the body of an olympic gymnast and gives my butt a pat as I walk by. My husband’s done that so long I never know if it’s W or my husband. When wearing a loose dress or skirt, he’ll slide his hand up to squeeze my bare ass. The first time I met W years ago, we were hanging out and he asked what style panties I wear. He didn’t believe it when I responded ‘thongs’. My hubby told him there’s only one way to find out.
4th of July, W came over at noon for a BBQ and brought a bottle of expensive bourbon. Before my husband took a shot, he got a notification and call from an office building he provides security for. The camera to the main lobby was damaged during maintenance activities and they requested emergency repair service. The company’s policy was to shut down until the camera is back online. The business is one hour away and my husband was going to have a 20 drive to get a service van. At the earliest, depending on the repair, he’d be back around 4:30 or 5pm.
I was wearing a loose tank top, pink sports bra and compression shorts. I don’t drink but W already had some shots and was flirting. He was rubbing my ass and asked me to take off the shirt then announced I made him hard. I sat on his lap to confirm and said, “I want to see it.” He said, “ It’s a python, you couldn’t handle it.” omg he called it a python. I reminded him I gave birth to two boys that weighed over 8lb each and assured him I won’t he shocked seeing his ‘python’ He gave another excuse. I reminded him of the time he walked in on me changing and promised to return the favor one day. Said, “Well, mister I’m calling YOU out.”
He dropped his shorts, it was hard but this is the embarrassing part:
There was a lot of hair! ugh! His manscape needed a trim!
He does not have a ‘python’. Hate to compare but hubby’s much bigger.
It’s not circumcised and the foreskin is extremely long and dangled over the end. Sorry, I was grossed a little.
He gave me oral and asked for s**. I agreed but he’d need a condom! He grabbed one from his car. While standing naked facing each other he couldn’t tear it open so I started rubbing the long foreskin up and down until the head was visible. Suddenly, he came in my hand and said it was because I’m so hot. Whatever! I know I’m not that attractive.
We hung out until he said he was ready. This time he was barely hard and the condom kept falling off. I’ve known W a long time and seen what he’s been with. He needed to wear the condom! Not to sound picky & bitchy but I also didn’t want that odd looking p**** in me raw. btw: Me doing oral to get him hard was not an option! To help things along, I got on top. He sucked my b****** but he went soft. We switched.
I sat on the edge of the bed. He was soft and holding the condom so it’d stay on. To help, I opened myself and I watched him press against me. He did a couple of quick thrusts and came again. OMG! That was it! He didn’t even make it inside.
He said he was exhausted and started to nod out. I helped get him dressed and in the living room. My husband came home 2 hours later and things weren’t awkward. H***! I don’t even know if W remembered any of it. LOL! Funny part: For years and in private, W has told me he’d love the chance to pound the h*** out of my ‘tiny body’. That’s the first and only time I’ve ever cheated on my husband. What a disappointment.
BTW: I know my husband was unfaithful while deployed. We have an unspoken understanding. Always use protection and never talk about it. I know he wouldn’t be upset if he found out. HOWEVER! I can’t tell him because I know he’d find humor and NEVER allow me to live this embarrassing moment down.