My saddening love life

Ok so.. it all started around 8 months ago. I was scrolling through Instagram and was absolutely stunned by her beauty. I saw a picture of that one girl and I told my self " what if I can be her lover". So.. I decided to text her with that awful catchphrase haha. Well it kinda worked out but didn't because she didn't really know me so it was weird. After her neglecting me for a week or so it started picking up and I just kept getting attached and attached by her most wonderful personality and beauty. In a month or so... for the first time. I decided to confess my love to a person. When I did that it didn't work to the point where she thought I was completely drunk and I wasn't as I never had a sip of alcohol. We just started talking to each other as friends and then there were those 2 treacherous months where we did not talk at all. Thing is no matter how much I love a girl, I just can not get over her. Fast-forward a bit I started talking to her and it seemed to pick up again. We started snapping each other a lot and stuff and she seemed kinda attached. However it was nothing close to me committing to a relationship. Well I say it was picking up but by that I mean she texts me every other hour and takes a while to reply. Then she was like I need to know u better so we decided to have a zoom call together. It couldn't have gone better really in my opinion. There wasn't anything interesting happening but just knowing her and talking to her was enough to me. Thing is about that woman is that she makes me extremely vulnerable. I believe that I cried every day thinking about her. I cry before sleeping, while studying, or even on my freetime. I also create those imaginary situations where I imagine that we are together. We'll now, I might go to her country for university and she seems excited that I might come which really means the world to me. Honestly if that beautiful woman can be my girlfriend within the next 5 months when I go to university this would honestly be my biggest achievement.

I just really love her...

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