I'm Not A Bad Person
After reading some of these confessions I realize I am not alone so I got some curage up to come clean even if it is anonymously.
First off, I must say I have a wonderful husband of 18 years. A good provider, a great father to our 2 girls, and a kind and considerate husband. He is someone any girl would love to be married to. That is, unless she has physical needs that he doesn't look after.
Here's my confession. I cheat in my husband. I have needs and I really tried for over 14 years to accept things the way they were for us when it came to the sexual part if our marriage. I could no longer just give into his disabilities when it came to my needs. Over those 14 years I must have brought up the subject at least 50 times. Some times calmly and sometimes not so much. Sometimes he would talk and say he would try and do better by me, sometimes we would talk and he would tell me there are no ways to change, and twice he told me to go get f***** someplace and stop bringing it up. Told me to go and be a s*** someplace. Evidently, I followed that advise even though I am sure he didn't mean it since he appologized soon after saying it.
Let me explain. When we were first married and before actually we had great s**. Almost every day when we could. His package is in the, well small dimensions but that didn't matter. He had great talents with his fingers and mouth. I never failed to o*****. He always got off but that was mostly with my mouth. It was just the way it was and we were happy. After a couple years he seemed to lose interest in me. He no longer was interested in giving me o****** but still wanted me to get him off. Even that stopped after a few more months. I was feeling I was being denyed fullfillment of my needs.
I started self pleasure and while this felt great, it wasn't the feeling of a man inside me. I didn't think about that much when my husband was paying attention to me but now it became a constant thought. I hurtied and ordered a d**** delivered in that plain brown wrapper. Funny how you look at them, decide on the size and order only to find your idea is not what your body would like. I ordered another, smaller than the first. It felt good but it still wasn't a blood pumping still shaft that I knew my body longed for. Still, I remained faithful trying to wear out my fingers and my toy. One night I came to the realization that I will go crazy if I don't get that live attention.
Where does one go when they want to find a hard shaft connected to a live man and comes with no strings attached? The Internet of course. I didn't want to go on dating sites for fear I get recognized by someone I know. I went to AFF. Maybe because I was doing something I had never done before and was already nervous, all the guys that contacted me were a bit to really creepy to me. I did learn of a site where people are certified real. I had to pay for a membership but there were thousands of people on it. It was a swingers site.I signed up and paid for a month. There were lots of couples and many contacted me but I wasn't up for any girl/girl stuff which they seem to want with the male contact. Quite a few single males. Single as far as they say. Not a lot of single females but I just figured less competition. I was getting a lot if mail there. I guess I had forgotten that I am a really nice package for a female. The pictures I put on there were pretty vanilla but they got a lot of results.
I conversed with single males. Going through profiles if those that contacted me I narrowed it down to 4 to get to know later to come down to ine I would want to meet and he could fullfill my expectations. All were clear in the no strings part. 4 to 3 to 2 to 2 to 2. I couldn't decide. What does ine do. I made 2 dates. Day times.
I went to get s** with the first one and that is exactly what I got. Attentive hard s** and I was in 2nd heaven. It had been so long since that withering flower of mine with being full with a live male. OMG. I felt so good. Even better when a second time came around. The second time I orgasmed with him in me and that is something I had never experienced before. I could get addicted to this. We parted after a couple hours. I was feeling good.
A second date coming up in 3 days. How could it get any better than the first one. My god, it can and it did. My body was like a road map and he knew every road and back street in that map. Every bit of me felt sensations I didn't know exusted. I orgasmed with breast play. I orgasmed with arm play. I orgasmed with his fingers working my c******* and with his tongue reaching places inky he could. Then, when I got the grand prize, I exploded in pleasure and then he exploded all over the front of me. Warm, silky c** running down my breast and sides. There was only a once and that once was fantastic. Afterwards I cleaned up, dressed and went home happily making dinner.
I tried not to meet the same guy twice. Strings you know so a couple weeks later was number 3. It was good, not like the first 2 but very satisfying. A week later, number 4. Kinda like number 3 but asked if I could later meet him at night and we could go to a Swing Club he us a member of. Getting away at night is tough but after a few weeks, the opportunity arose to do it. Husband was going out of town, would be gone 10 days with some if those days being out of the country. I could get a babysitter for ine night. Made the date.
We went to the Swing Club that I never knew existed but have seen the building before not having any idea what it was. We went in and suddenly there were flashing lights everywhere. Males and females in various amounts of dress including none. There was a bar we made our way to. In the way a number of people would say hello to my host. He must be known here. On the bar, baskets of mints and condoms. My host grabbed a handful and handed me some. I told him I doubt I would need more than 1 or 2. He said, trust him, I'll need them. I seen some private rooms and couples going in and out. One room was really big and wall to wall mattresses. Must have been 12 ir more people in there doing all kinds if things. I got tingles just seeing it and I could feel my juices flowing because my pantie felt soaked. People were walking up to us and introducing themselves by first names. Most if them invited us ir me to join them in a private room or in the big play room. My host suggested we go to the playroom.
Off we went as well as our clothes. First time besides school to be fully naked in a group and a first for coed group. Rather liberating. We entered the play room and before I could ask what next a guy is licking my nipples. Nice, in return I grabbed his c***. That must have been some kind of signal because now there were 3 men with their hands, tongues, and c**** rubbing me. One asked if he could f*** me. What the h***, go for it. He put a condom in and I bent forwards. He went in and I liked it. A c*** was put against my lips so I started sucking him. Another guy was reaching under me caressing my c***. What have I been missing my whole adult life? This is fir me. The entire night went that way. I was f*****, sucked, licked, and fingered I don't know how many times. I know I used that handful if condoms and then some. I never imagined that many c**** in one place and all with no strings attached. I even kissed a couple woman and one actually gave me a good tongue lashing in my c***. I couldn't get myself to do it back. Not yet any way. I think I will try sometime.
5 hours. Not many o****** but ine fun night and I was spent. Got to do that 2 more times. Got back with number 1 and 2 a few times and then it all came to an end. Covid arrived and this oart if my life had to come to a stop. I have a family to protect so can't be out mixing it up taking chances. When this all ends, I can see myself back in action. Some if us still communicate in line and we are all looking forward to starting up again. I am really h**** again.