My girlfriend spanks me when I do anything wrong, and it has our

She is in charge.

It isn't a sexual thing. I don't know what it is, exact, but it isn't that. If we fight and I start losing control of my anger, she forces me over her knee, pins me, and either uses a ruler or hairbrush to really spank me, bottom and thighs. It's humiliating, and at first was overwhelming. I hate it, but it's effective. I'll cry, she'll keep going, and shove me in a corner to cool off.

But...my anger is gone. I feel tender and vulnerable. We discuss our fight and cuddle and drink something nice. It's really wonderful, too.

I'm almost thirty. I don't talk to anyone about it. I wish I did.

Jan 30

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  • I would suggest you talk to your mom about it.

  • Ah, I wish. My biological mother is a very...distant woman in a lot of way. Very neglectful and emotionally abusive throughout my formative years. We are on good terms, but certainly not good enough to share deep emotions or confessions like this.

  • Okay then.... Go to you dad if he's different about these kind of things. Or go to your sister if you have one. Any family member will do if they care about you enough.

  • I can try. Unfortunately my family and I are - somewhat estranged due to a tragedy ten years back. Some are close, though, so I could certainly reach out. Thank you.

  • No problem. Reach out indeed. Good luck with that.

  • LOL! She's basically your new Mommy. How precious.

  • Thank you actually. I guess that's pretty accurate.

  • Also, being vulnerable is a good thing depending on how you achieve that. Maybe it's time for your new mommy/wife to be vulnerable.

  • Well... She might as well be you wife.

  • By the way, it's a good thing it's not sexual. It makes the problem more unique, and gives us more interest.

  • Yes it is

  • It truly isn't, but - I'm also just not a sexually charged individual actually. Nor is she. There's a lot of reasons for that, but it is mostly due to injury during service for the both of us, and I also have an autoimmune disease that just makes me so fatigued and malnourished most days s** is the last thing on earth I want haha.

    Everyone's experience varies, though. I personally think it works so well because it stems from a place of extreme childhood neglect - in a lot of ways it feels like I'm getting that back.

  • That's good, I guess. Sounds like you're happy with it. I hope you two love each other all the while. Sorry about your autoimmune disease. She sounds like a good mommy.

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