Secret smoker

My husband hates smoking and I did too. But I compete in wrestling and I would have panic attacks before I had to wrestle. Almost everyone I know in wrestling smokes and one day a friend handed me the cigarette she'd just lit before being called to the ring. I held it for a while and finally tried it. I coughed the first few inhales but it did make me feel a bit dizzy but more relaxed. I smoked constantly until my match then smoked until I finally had to shower and leave. I brushed my teeth, used mouthwash and felt guilty when I met my husband outside the gym. He couldn't tell. And over the past few years it's went from a few a day to several a day to almost a pack a day and he still doesn't know. I end up brushing my teeth many times a day, stay away from him so I can smoke and I take a pack of cigarettes and stop to smoke while I'm running. He smells it in my hair but I blame other women smoking around me. He has tasted it when we kiss but I tell him he's crazy, he knows how much I hate smoking. I want to tell him but it will break his heart. How do I tell my husband of over 20 years that for over 6 years I've been smoking. I know he's going to beg me to quit but I don't want to. I actually love smoking and it hasn't affected my athletic ability any yet. So to confess or not to confess? It's a guilty feeling either way and I don't want to hurt him.

May 15

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  • In my opinion your husband knows this but afraid to go all the way because he knows that he would feel betrayed. It is impossible that a person who does not smoke and kisses you does not smell it, on his hair, clothes and breath. Try probing the ground with examples and see how it reacts. But know that sooner or later he will get tired of the doubt and catch you while you smoke and it will be much worse. I wish you good luck

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