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This car caught fire, and it's on cruise control to **
For approximately 9 months now, I have been working on myself and also mending the relationship between my ex girlfriend and I. We're long distance. We act like a couple, in almost every way but She won't entirely commit or give a label beyond "Friend" for me when it comes to explaining to others what we are. To be transparent: I did psyche myself out and ended up cheating on her. We didn't talk for a few months, and were even just friends for a while and dated other people. She says she can't commit because she wants to know I've really changed for the better.
There have been a few things fishy came up, she mentioned some guy messaged her, said his name and she'd never heard of him. I had seen him on people you may know a few days prior, claimed she must've forgot she had him on her list and didn't remember how he got on (naturally). Also there was another guy who kept showing up on my people you may know with her as the only mutual, I don't know much about how that all works but she claimed he was some friend of a friend's boyfriend. I feel like these are just people who come into close contact with her on her list.
I do have some trust issues, but really think there's something to the feelings. On the whole, I don't care if she slept with the guy's but there's no reason to lie if they did in the past. My main concern is that she has someone come around even if it's once in a while. She's all I want but when I really think about things I'm so afraid she's going to scorch me.
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