Went to drown myself and found something surprising

I’m beyond sad and disgusted with the world. This has been a feeling for quite some time. The other day I went to a secluded beach and had a plan. In all honesty, I was so lost I just walked down there not knowing what would happen. I took my shoes off and walked into the freezing water.

I got into my waist and was planning on just letting myself go into the water. It was pitch black outside of the moonlight to my right. I was shaking and horrified but beyond sad. I just ended up crying being burnt out behind belief.

Here I am a grown man standing in the ocean up to my waist crying. It happens, but I wanted to end it and ** at everything else these days. I’m on borrowed time as it is.

After standing there I guess 15 minutes, I heard someone yelling from behind me. I couldn’t really make a lot out as I was just gone. Eventually, I heard someone in the ocean walking towards me. I became very nervous.

A young guy said to me “what are you doing man, it’s October?” I told him that I was in the polar bears club and smirked but he didn’t buy it. I wouldn’t have either. I can’t fake it anymore. I just am spent on this unemotional, detached, robotic society.

He knew full well what I was up to. I said that it was fine I’m just having a bad day. We wound up talking and getting out of the water. The guy genuinely cared even though he was there for a completely different somewhat nefarious reason but I could care less. That’s nothing new here and commonplace.

I went to kill myself and ended up having a refreshing conversation with a complete stranger that really shouldn’t have been talking to a screwup like me. He did though when he didn’t have to. I guess I needed that.

While I cannot say I won’t be there at the beach or someplace else again, it reminded me not everyone is a robot like society has sadly become.

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