my sad life.

weeks ago i had the perfect life,
i had the beautiful best friend. popularity. a boy who basically was my everything. great grades. an always elusive agenda, and people loved me.

Evidently, i took everything for granted.

My best friend has stopped speaking with me. We were like sisters in the way that we always did everything together everyday. We called or messaged each other every single day. Now, she is moving to a far away state for 3 months and decided that the best choice would be to cut off all contact from me. she tells me we will hang out one week and eventually ruins the plans to hang out with other people. We rarely talk. She was a piece of my life and without her, i feel helpless and confused. I loved her and she explained that she is trying to make things easier for us, but honestly, everything is going downhill.
I will miss her.

The boy I love brings out the worst in me. My mother does not approve of him because he signed my yearbook with a rather cynical comment (basically described his long-held rage and hate for me). She is worried that I am too caught up in him and I just need to "snap out of it". I love him, though. We've been basically together (not officially, shall i say) for over ten months. He is eighteen and I am fifteen but in our relationship, age has never dignified things. He broke up with his girlfriend and began talking to me in a way that made me believe we would go together. We fell in love. One day, he decided to get his girlfriend back. after his constant complaints of her, i was shocked. He tells me will break her heart, but I cannot decide if that is the right decision or shall i save her from being hurt.

My health has been slowly depressing as well. Recently, I have discovered a lump on my left breast and i am afraid of the worst. It is painful towards touch and very sensitive.

I need some well deserved guidance or change. Possibly a change of mind set?

What I need is prayer. I am fifteen years old and for some unexplainable reason, writing has resorted to my only comfort.

2 Comments

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  • I was never the popular girl. I learned that the best way for me was to be passive. I just went with it. So I came across as kind of quiet. Not super quiet or creepy quiet but I always let others take the lead.

  • Take a deep breath. Decide in yourself to be a nice low impact person.

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