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I think about killing/death an uncomfortable amount of times
Please don't judge me, so, I think about killing myself, I think about killing other people and animals, I'd never act on my thoughts, since, 1, it's illegal, 2, I could never act on it, since I know I'd back out before I did it or regret it afterwards.I think it's a kind of coping thing, it gives me a sense of control and power, I don't think of killing just anyone, I think of killing ones who have wronged others bad enough to deserve it, I promise I've never, nor will ever act on my thoughts.
I’m a former police officer, I killed a ‘man’ who’d just killed his ex girlfriend and their 3yo son, he wounded 3 other adults then we exchanged lead, he lost. Justified or not, killing messes a person up! Don’t get me wrong, when I found the dead boy inside, had the neighbors not showed up to see what was going on, I’d have shot him until I ran out of ammunition.
Go ride along with an ambulance crew, fire company or police department, death messes with your mind.
Have you tried creative writing as an outlet? These types of thoughts could work as a script in slasher or horror film. Just an idea
SHUT UP YOU GOBBLESMACK I ** YOU INTO COMPLIANCE ** IS GUT