I somewhat cheated on my partner and i cant get rid of the guilt

So ever since my i high school years i’ve been obsessed with this one guy. we’ll call him A. A and i became best friends and even sexual partners quickly. the attention was great and i honestly stopped at nothing to make sure A was still interested in me. we never dated (even though i really wanted to) because he is highly religious and i’m not. anyways, i’ve been with my current partner, B, for a little more than 9 months. I have cheated on them in the past and came clean immediately and B stayed with me. B and i have a connection like no other. i love them with all of my heart and soul and want to spend the rest of my life with them. the other night A was telling me about a girl they’ve been talking to, and how things were about to become official. i noticed i was jealous because the girl wasn’t religious but A didn’t mind. the girl even said she would convert to be with A. two nights ago A came to me asking for explicit pics of me. I gave in and ended up sending a couple photos of myself with my chest exposed. immediately afterwards i was physically sick because of guilt. i feel disgusting and so ashamed. B has no idea, but hasn’t liked A from the start. yesterday, i told A that we couldn’t be friends anymore. i couldn’t question my morals and loyalty of my relationship because of a high school fling. A and i are not talking at all right now (which is what i should’ve done months ago). every night i feel sick to my stomach out of guilt. i’m not going to tell B because if i did i believe they’d break up with me. i needed to confess my secret to someone without a bias and ask for help. B is the love of my life and i don’t want to lose them. do i tell them and pray it do i stay silent and let it pass over?

Related Posts