I have no faith in the medical profession or societyz

The pain of my existence is free-flowing like the further deterioration of my brain. I did not ask for this, as I followed the rules as given. I’m a shell as a result of my detachment. I often isolate so as not to scare others or mysterious.

I hide in plain sight, but inside I’m falling apart. We’re everywhere but are sick of feeling like freaks, either by societal standards, genetics, or worse. It takes its toll with the psychological roller coaster we endure daily.

Personally, I have tried everything to fix what the medications caused, but to no avail. Specialists and the ones that caused this mayhem have no answers. Some are indifferent and cold, which is why we often feel like pill dispensaries for their sociopathy, while some sound like they want to cry.

It’s an even balance of good and bad. Sadly, the latter often wins. This is not good for people with real problems. Can you imagine feeling like you’re in a mixture of David Lynch and David Cronenberg films without any help? This is my life, and there are thousands out there suffering like me.

The signs are there, and we are blunt and honest people. We just want help without more brain damage. We want to meet and talk, but we know full well it’s pointless to the drones, aka supposedly normal people, who mock us because they don’t understand real pain. Those who can’t fathom or grasp common definitions of this ongoing, never-ending ** should be happy.

I would not wish such things on anyone when you have constant flashbacks out of nowhere of the abuse and bullying you were handed down and endured for most of your childhood and adolescence. The panic attacks, the suicidal thoughts and would-be actions, the paranoia, the fear, the intense depression, depersonalization, impulsiveness, and so on.

Be happy with what you have unless you have worse, i.e., are paralyzed and as helpless as us. Will society wake up and stop the fake caring and textbook posturing? I would hope so, but I’m a cynic.

One can be vindicated this way when even doctors hide behind screens like your supposed friends who are or seem like cowardly narcissists with no empathy or interest except lying and hiding.

Pain is everywhere, as life is pain. Life is about survival. Life is depression. Life is confusion and uncertainty. You endure before it becomes too much. I’m close to my end, and I’ve tried everything to better myself.

Medication is only good when they work, and the irony here is that they caused this. Brain damage and the lost joys we once had before they created this. We are everywhere, and we want someone to listen who isn’t insecure, overly narcissistic, sociopathic, or narrow-minded in how they speak and treat us. Without treating us as Guinea pigs, and therapy with people that think a parking ticket is a bad day doesn’t cut it, so the torture marches forth.

Yes, we are everywhere, and our biggest sin is envy. If one cannot relate to this, I will call you another one of the drones. One should be happy that you’re a follower, able to function, and happy. I was occasionally in life, but these demons, or whatever one prefers to call the bees ending **, continue.

Never assume you know the truth about anyone, but do not be quick to hide when you’re merely uninformed and naive. Nobody’s clean, and we’re all hypocrites, as is human nature.

The drones never understand, but seemingly do not care. I expect this, but I hope my skepticism dwindles. maybe one day before I’m left hanging in a closet or basement. Please prove me wrong before it’s too late. We’re everywhere, as we always have been.

Mar 17

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