I’m an aggressor and i’m nervous

I am a primary aggressor for an old relationship i had, i’ve realized. i take full accountability for everything. anything and everything i’ve done i feel guilt. we were not compatible and i got wrapped up in substances and it only made our relationship more complicated, which eventually lead to a lot of abuse on both our ends, but i am the primary aggressor.

we used to have the same friend group until we broke up because he started creeping on some of the other women. he has since been kicked from that friend group but we’ve majorly separated all around from a certain person. i am so afraid of this old friend reconnecting with my ex and my ex just laying it flat out everything that happened (which is okay) but i am terrified if i’m going to go to court if this happens. this is the first time i’m admitting this to anyone but i coerced this person, and i am absolutely ashamed, embarrassed and feel every ounce of guilt, if not more. i didn’t want to believe i did this at the time but thinking back; i did, and i am so sorry to this person. we did it to each other, but it is something that shouldn’t of happened. it’s been about 5 years since i’ve been in contact with my ex and about 2 years since this old friend.

how do i go about getting help? i’m already in therapy and have moved on from this person, have never messaged either one since. what happens if i do go to court?? my life just started, i don’t want my past to ruin what i could fix of myself.

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