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My feel sheltered
I’m going to be eighteen in four months. My parents did their best to make sure I wouldn’t share too much information about myself and didn’t post pictures of my face when I was younger. Because of this, I find it impossible to take a photo of my face. I get scared when they do and beg them to crop me out, black out my face, or just delete the picture in general. My name is unique too. So if anyone hears it, they can likely know exactly who I am. This also made me anxious as a kid because my parents said that’s personal information as well. I’m only allowed to have a YouTube account and an instagram account. I can’t have Snapchat or TikTok or any other social media. My little sister who is fourteen is allowed to have multiple accounts. Reddit, instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and probably things I don’t know about. Same for my older brother. This makes it difficult for me to communicate with others in my classes throughout highschool. People don’t want to give out their numbers and would usually ask if you have snapchat. When I say no, they usually ask why and I have to say,” my parents won’t let me.” I feel babied. I hate it and love it. I’m always going to be known as a mommy’s girl. I’m always going to be that one friend who’s too close with family. I’m going to be known as that girl who’s too close to family. When some classmates get to know me, they seem weirded out by my relationship with my siblings. Guess it’s weird to cuddle with them. My grandma even thought it was weird. Said I shouldn’t let my brother look at me like that. I feel gross. I sound like some modern Vc Andrews protagonist. Doesn’t help that I have both mommy issues and daddy issues. Or that I like older guys and older girls. You don’t have to interact with this post. I just want to get this off my chest. Maybe I’ll confess more on here later so here’s a calling card or something -🕊️🩷
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