Who do I love?
Where to start? Well I have been married going on 25 years.
My wife is a wonderful woman, she has never done anything wrong. But I met this other woman. We started out just as friends and then before I knew it, we were in love with each other. So, we talked about starting a life with each other. I was all for it. But when I thought about telling my wife that I was going to leave her for this other woman, all I could do was think about how much it would hurt her. How it would hurt my kids. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bare the thought of me hurting her, or my children. So, I told the other woman that I realized how much I really loved my wife, and that I could not leave her. She said she just wanted me to be happy, and no matter what she would always love me. But this is the thing.
I can't picture my life without my wife, or the thought of hurting her. But on the other hand, I cannot get this other woman off my mind. She made me feel like I had never felt before. She seemed to bring out the best in me,except for the cheating.
The thing is, is I am not that good looking of a guy, I am slightly overweight, but both my wife and this other woman are very attracted to me for some reason...
So, if I can't stand the thought of hurting my wife, I must really love her? right? that is what I think, and then I think maybe it is just guilt... and then on the other hand, I can't get this other woman off my mind, I think about her every single day,and I think about all the times we had spent together. So, do I just think of her because of how she made me feel? or do I really love her? I used to think that I knew how true love felt. Now I am not so sure. The other woman's daughter sent me a message a few days after I broke things off with her and wanted to know how I could hurt her mom that way. She said that she was so depressed and wouldn't get out of bed.
I didn't know what to tell her, and I really didn't want to discuss my relationships with a teenage girl, so I didn't answer her back. So now I worry about ruining someones life.
How can I throw away 25 years of marriage? How can I live with myself knowing I hurt someone that I really did have feelings for? I know... I know, I am a worthless piece of s***..
I brought this on myself, and now I don't have a clue as what to do...