Who do I love?

Where to start? Well I have been married going on 25 years.
My wife is a wonderful woman, she has never done anything wrong. But I met this other woman. We started out just as friends and then before I knew it, we were in love with each other. So, we talked about starting a life with each other. I was all for it. But when I thought about telling my wife that I was going to leave her for this other woman, all I could do was think about how much it would hurt her. How it would hurt my kids. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bare the thought of me hurting her, or my children. So, I told the other woman that I realized how much I really loved my wife, and that I could not leave her. She said she just wanted me to be happy, and no matter what she would always love me. But this is the thing.
I can't picture my life without my wife, or the thought of hurting her. But on the other hand, I cannot get this other woman off my mind. She made me feel like I had never felt before. She seemed to bring out the best in me,except for the cheating.
The thing is, is I am not that good looking of a guy, I am slightly overweight, but both my wife and this other woman are very attracted to me for some reason...
So, if I can't stand the thought of hurting my wife, I must really love her? right? that is what I think, and then I think maybe it is just guilt... and then on the other hand, I can't get this other woman off my mind, I think about her every single day,and I think about all the times we had spent together. So, do I just think of her because of how she made me feel? or do I really love her? I used to think that I knew how true love felt. Now I am not so sure. The other woman's daughter sent me a message a few days after I broke things off with her and wanted to know how I could hurt her mom that way. She said that she was so depressed and wouldn't get out of bed.
I didn't know what to tell her, and I really didn't want to discuss my relationships with a teenage girl, so I didn't answer her back. So now I worry about ruining someones life.
How can I throw away 25 years of marriage? How can I live with myself knowing I hurt someone that I really did have feelings for? I know... I know, I am a worthless piece of s***..
I brought this on myself, and now I don't have a clue as what to do...


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  • We men are all human. What you experienced with the "extra" one is not unusual. Follow the good voice that is speaking to you, which is the one that wants you to be faithful to the wife you married. Make sure you have properly apologized to the extra and make a deliberate effort to block her out of your mind. And ask God to forgive you.

  • You already threw your marriage away. If your wife keeps you, than she's just a weak willed person who will settle for a piece of s*** that had no problem throwing away the best years of her life on another woman who he can't really be sure he loves. Why would anyone want to be with someone that has that level of s***** judgement and self exteem?! A real pickle you got on your hands you f****** ass hat!

  • No matter what you do someone is going to be hurt, whether it be your wife, the other woman or even you. Actually you will be hurt no matter what. But you just need to realize who you can't live without, put the feelings of everyone else aside for a moment

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