Funny Confessions

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I ** on the dollar tree floor & mooned the co worker.

Funny thing to say to a hot stripper

When you go to a **,always say to the stripper,nice legs.when do they open.LOL,that is a great pick up line to say to a stripper.or it could be a good pick up line to be thrown out by a bouncer.

When I was younger I used to think the word 'birth' was rude and I used to hate it when people would say it. So basically, I thought 'birth' was a swear word. I laugh at it now but I think I still have a problem with the word...In class once (when I was younger) the teacher gave us a little education on babies and said the word birth like 15 times... (more)

Dead mic

My friends are in a band and I always help out backstage at their gigs. Once, in the middle of a song, I started to read out a very graphic fanfiction which included a foursome between four men into the dead mic. I replaced the men's names from the fanfic with names of my friends in the band. They had to try to carry on playing while that was... (more)

Dobby

Once I got in a huge fight with my mom, so I told her that in the seventh book of Harry Potter Dobby dies, and she broke down in tears, telling me to leave the house and not to come back until I had thought about what I had done.

Inappropriate use of Siri.

I got so bored that somehow I came up with the idea that I could text my friends using the voice recognition of Siri....and my **. My farts only spell out a few words but still......

"NP"

When I was about 6 years old, when people used "np" in chat, I thought it meant nope. I then proceeded to curse them out. When I learned it meant no problem, I started thinking about how confused those people must have been.

I love beating geeks up

In high school there are so many geeks around. I go out of my way to kick their ** and make them cry. I love knocking their glasses off their faces then stepping on their glasses and laughing. The other day I beat the ** out of a geek in front of his... (more)

It's funny

I started working as a stripper last year, and it's amazing how many guys between 35-55 come into the clubs looking for a wife. Even the ones who are already married are looking to trade up. And at least one girl gets proposed to every night of the week, every night, even by guys who they have never even seen before in their lives. I mean it's... (more)

Lol get trolled

Okay so today in class I told a girl that I used to date something very mean but it was worth it. Before I say what I did this girl is overly obsessive and always ** me off so she deserves this. We had ** one time while we dated. But anyways today I told... (more)

I don't kill spiders

I don't kill spiders in my house because somewhere, I still think I can become spider-man

Dog bite

One day when I was about 7 I was bit by on dog on the **. It left me in the ER. Know I'm 23 and I was drunk at a friends house for her bridal shower. They dared me to get a tattoo. So we stumbled down to the tatto place. I was so drunk I got a tattoo of a dog on my (more)

What A Beautiful Rock

I swear this is true and has to be one of the funniest things to happen in someones life.
I used to take a lot of pain medications. One of the side effects of taking so many pain meds is constipation. Well, there was a time that I had not taken a ** for 2 whole weeks, and was hurting bad to say... (more)

I'm a horrible monster

I've killed 20-40 people I've stabbed a bunch of bums killed a few models killed a guy and his dog and my ex Bethaney I tried to kill my assistant but I didn't I killed a woman with a chainsaw but I had too cause she almost got away I ate a little bit of there brains and tried to cook...also I killed Paul Allen with an ax to the face I guess Im a... (more)

Its me

I hate telling jokes n nobody laugh

To be honest

I really find it hilarious when people try to turn trolls into moral law abiding citizens with only their wordy liberal banter as ammo. Online and off.

I ** up a boys life

My friend sidouche is a total idiot...immature freak of nature...and i care for him but he acts like a total immature **...he doesnt know how to make friends and **....he is a complete joke and makes himself looks like a (more)

Touchdown!!!

So, my class was in social studies and we were studying totem poles and they're were a bunch of them in the room and one of them had a mini football. So, naturally the boys start throwing the football around and then our teacher comes in and they're all like "Here here and this one girl is on her desk saying that too. And the boy that has the... (more)

Two times!

I injured my knee badly at sport recently. My doctor advised me to take it easy for a couple of weeks and then ease back into my training. I did so and it felt better then i hurt it again, exactly the same pain. I told everyone i hurt it during training, but really it was from having rough ** with my... (more)

Funny acts

We boys are really mischievous.we always find out when someone is careless and then do something funny which may be embarrasing for the person.

The gay game

Before all of you homos get offended...let me just say if you made of straight people or races...I'm not easily offended..So just calm.down because this has nothing to do with you.
My bro and I play the gay game...wer call each.other words by.using gay ** or (more)

Lie Lie Lie

My last confession was a lie.

Nt ALL the time..

Smetimes I actually enjoy Justin Bieber's music. And his song Never Say Never is awesome. I listened to it for hours and I'm going to download it now. ;)

I'm a troll

I posted a bunch of stuff on here.
People got offended.
I want you to know- I'm not a neo-**.
I'm just being a troll.
No, I think they're as ** up as you all do.
I just wanted to see your reactions.
And I had a good laugh over them.
I don't need... (more)

BEAST

I yelled out "BEAST!!" during a workout to get keep me from collapsing, and hey it worked! lol!

I want to dye.

I just can't decide on a color.

HA IM A BOY !!!

I was at a party a few years ago and i dressed as a girl (im a boy) and i was talking to my best friend who is also a boy and he started flirting with me and tried to kiss me. But im not gay so i had to tell him but it was still hilarios and i always remind him :D

Blonde Eyebrows Black Hair Ugggghhhhh

**. I bleached my face yesterday . While doing so, I applied it all over my face including eyebrows,.... **.. What the ** do i do now??:(:(. Tomorrow is my birthday and i am feeling soo down..

Uhhhhhhhhh

I'm stupid

I love making fun of stutterers

In my school there are 3 people who have a stuttering problem. IDK why there are so many. They are in different grades I think one is in special ed. Anyway its so funny when they stutter i cant help but laugh and make fun of them. One name is Stan i call him S S Stan the St St Stutterer now others call him that. One time in the hall a bunch... (more)

Hooters

Once I took a picture of my dad's moob and sent it to my mom telling her I was at Hooter's.

Just some randomness

I never cry when I watch movies.
Actually I only cry when I am hurt in some way, however even when people who are close to me leave for a long period of time, I don't cry. I don't even care about it.
But I DO cry when watching Star Wars. Especially in episode 3 when Obi-Wan and Anakin fight.
I think it is very stupid and very very very... (more)

Silly me.

When I was 6, my older sister and cousin told me I was adopted. they even went as far as telling me how an old lady gave me to my dad and that my real name was Anna. I believed them for over a week, until I realized that my sister and I look almost exactly alike...and that we both look like our dad. I was so gullible!

**!

I was in my tractor when a tiny little bug sat on my nose...I smelt the bug to see if it was happy and it went up my nose...Then my crush walked over (He is half male half female) and I started blowing my nose to get the bug out and then he put his ** in my nose and pulled it out and I orgasmed! It... (more)

Just Desserts

I once convinced a rather stupid young lady that ** was a dessert.

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