I'm a terrible, terrible person.
I'm horrible, honestly horrible. I used to be this great person with high morals- no s** until marriage, searching for the right guy, having these standards. And then I actually HAD s** with someone who didn't love me (which means of course I was in love with them), and they broke my heart.
After that I had two one night stands, and now I keep looking for more. I don't know if my heart is just screwed up from the first guy breaking it or what. But all I know is that when I feel the need for s**, I start thinking horrible, horrible things. Things like, who's my next "target" and how many guys I can get to sleep with. I start to look at them differently, trying to tempt them!
Gah! What's wrong with me? That's not the person I was nor do I want to be them! I want to be that girl that would blush at guys and didn't even know what s** felt like because now, now after the guy that broke my heart, it's like I use s** to mend my heart- even if it's just thinking about it or attempting to seduce someone!
And now, now I've got my target set on my younger brother's friend! He's two years younger than me! Everytime I see him, all I can think is that I want to get him into bed! Something is horribly wrong with me. I don't want to be that girl- I want to find a good guy, settle down, and have kids.
I'm such a horrible person.