Relapse

That after 2 years of sobriety from cutting, I have relapsed. Things are getting too rough, getting unbarrable. I used to cut on my wrist, about a 2 inch space where a wrist band could cover it. It got so built up with scar tissue that I had to wrap a string around my forearm to cut off cerculation for the vessels to raise, like a heroin addict. Then I quit. Well I just cut myself 13 times in the same place as before while I was drunk. I was so intoxicated by the pain and alcohol. There was so much blood and it felt wonderful. It reminded me why I picked up the habit to begin with. The only problem is, I have suicidal thoughts. I think that if I just died, I wouldn't have to see what a failure I am. I wouldn't have to see that ill be alone and unimportant for the rest of my life. I just want to give up. I've been fighting for so long I've grown tired if it. The only problem is, if I kill myself and there is a God after all, there's no chance at all ill have true happiness. It'll just be another form of h***. Its a catch 22. Damned if I do, damned if I don't...

Report this
Today's Best Deals: Philips Hue, New Balance, Model Cars, and More

New Balance apparel, a Philips Hue starter kit, and beautiful model cars lead off Thursday’s best deals from around the web.

No Comments Yet

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?