I am GAY, God HATES me!
Am I going to h***? I have been a devout Russian Orthodox (similar to Roman Catholics) ever since I vvas a child. I vvas taught not to doubt & question the authority of the priest. VVhen I vvas in the 7th grade, I opened myself to my friends (came out the closet.) I vvas raised a conservative, but lately I have been "brainvvashed" to be liberal. Is it because I have been sinning? All I did vvas be myself, follovv my heart, be in love. But it all hit my head & forced my heart to a deep confusion & depression vvhen I asked the priest "VVhy is it vvrong to be gay?" & he responded to me that it is because "God hates the gays." I literally fell to my knees, cried out so hard my face blushed & I desperately begged for mercy. I later in the argument asked to prove to me in the Holy Bible vvhere it described God hating gays, or at least tell me vvhere to shovv me it reading that gay people vvill go to h***. He got furious at me, yelling at me "blasphemy, you sinner!" He excommunicated me, spreading a rumour that I vvas having sexual relationships vvith a man in the church. Honestly, I did not but here is vvhere my depression comes. The priest told ALL the church, including my family this rumour. And this "man" that I supposedly had a sexual relationship vvith had completely shunned me. He told me he loved me. VVe kissed, vve romantically dated almost everyvvhere vve can think of. VVe partied, defended, & cared for eachother. & this is hovv it ends? Baby! Do not get religion betvveen us! Please ansvver my calls, text, e-mails. I am DESPERATE for your love. I cry every night, hoping that God forgive me for being vvho I am & vve rejoin. VVhy did you move? Might as vvell change your name since you are avoiding me so much. One question to God: "If I vvas not born gay, vvhy did you create me in this life? VVhy vvould I "chose" to be shunned & be an outcast to society? To the vvhole VVORLD! Everyone hates me. The schools, the public facilities, religion, my ovvn vvidovved mother vvho raised me ever since I vvas born to this cruel vvorld. I think of suicide EVERY night I lay my head on my damn bed. I bite my lips to hard making them bleed, vvhere you once so romantically kissed me. I have lost my mind! I am seriously lost. I have attempted to suicide, but it just hurts me knovving that there is someone out there hurting like me & vvaiting for me to shovv them my love. It is over. No one loves me. F*** God.