I want a boyfriend ...

I can't take it anymore. I am 18 and have not had a single relationship nor nothing close to it. It's killin me knowing most of my friends have and I am a decent looking person, i have so much to offer but for some reason no one wants me. Most days im alright..but others i cry about it because if you cant get yourself a bf when your 18 good luck getting married.. I am scared that i will be single forever and i really want a boyfriend so that i can experience something, anything. I just want to be loved but it seems that every time i have a chance somehow i s**** it up. I just wish that things were easier because this is making me dread my life every day. It may seem stupid and small but when you want something really bad, and you have no control over it, it has the power to literally tear you apart.

Basically i fall for guys so easily because of this. The minute they show any interest in me i jump in head over heels because i get excited that this may be the 'one'. Its pathetic that i get all worked up over absolutely nothing because nothing ever happens. They always like one of my friends or someone else, always always always.

I really dont know how to handle this anymore and like i said its not like im anti social im so social i can get in front of a crowd and speak no problem.. i have the personality and i know that i catch eyes in a room but its like the minute they give me a chance i s**** it up i dont even know how!

Ugh what do i do i cant live like this anymore.. :(

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  • honestly, in my oppinion, i think you should stop looking for a guy, or "the one". because as the old saying goes to show, the one your meant to be with usually will come into your life when you least expect it. so for right now, just keep your head held high and keep being yourself. don't look for a boyfriend. if you don't, than you'll find that more people are probably looking to be with you. and if someone seems interested and you start dating, than of course stay at a pace your comfortable, but let them choose the pace so that you don't s**** it up. but of course still stay confident and keep your self respect while your at it. hope it helps:)

  • Yeah very true, i guess its society's standards these days..by a certain age you have to be dating or you have to have had experience to be accepted. Its just hard to watch all your friends mature and experience things and be the only one standing in the same spot for the longest time. But its very true that not every guy is a 'nice guy' and a lot of the times i pretty much just go for them regardless because i like the idea of a boyfriend, not so much the boy itself. I guess if you make it more of a game (as immature as that is) sometimes things work out better, because the minute you start showing that you have interest in other guys and not in the one right in front of you, he starts wanting you THAT much more. Thanks again :)

  • No problem. The only reason I know is because I was like you when I was younger. I just wanted a boyfriend, and nobody seemed to be interested. Once I stopped treating every guy I met as my next potential boyfriend, and started evaluating whether or not I actually liked them, things changed. And to my suprise, I lot of the guys I had been chasing had been as*holes, so now I feel very fortuante that I didn't hook up with any of them! After I changed my attitude, nice guys who seemed to be interested in me just seemed to appear. So I have faith that the same will happen for you.

  • I know how you feel. I'm 30 years old and in the same boat you're in. I've been single for almost a decade now. I was married and divorced in less than 10 months because I couldn't cut it as a husband. She was unhappy with me. So, I figure if I can't keep a girl happy then what's the use in getting into a relationship, right? Then I realize that I miss having a girl by my side and I get lonely and want one severely.

    I wish I could offer some advice, but it seems I'm a big loser.

  • Here's the thing. There are tons of people that haven't had relationships, or any experience at all, by 18. I don't know who's telling you if you don't have someone by 18 you'll be alone forever but its a load of crap. Those who get married to the boyfriends they had at 18 are likley the first to get divorced. You are so you are not alone in still being single. So give yourself a break.

    Just to give you some constructive advice, people can generally sense desperation, and its a turn-off. So if you're giving off the vibes that you want someone, ANYONE, or if you come on too strong, no wonder you're having issues getting someone to stick around.

    Next time you meet someone you might be interested in, take things slow. Don't think that he's the One (as if there was even such a thing) immediatly, take time, get to know him as a person. You may just find that he's not all that awesome. Or maybe you guys will have great chemistry, but you won't have scared him off early on. Besides, guys kind of like a challenge.

    The point is, slow down, enjoy life and STOP rushing things with guys. Its totally normal to have never had a boyfriend at 18.

    Oh, by the way, while its great to be loved by a boyfriend, there are so many kinds of love (friends, family, ect), that no matter what you are loved.

  • wow you have no idea how much that helped.. thank you so much and it all makes total sense, especially the desperation part. I think i do that without realizing and thats definitly a turn off so i will try to stop myself from doing that. Thanks again for the honest advice.

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