Account Login
Im kind of stupid for this but..
I am NOT romantic. I do NOT fall in love. Love in a family sense is important, you need it it keeps you alive nside. But romantic interest? NO. When have they EVER been good to me?
How many times did I break my own heart by falling in love in the first place?
I learned my lesson. I'm not saying I planned to NEVER have a boyfriend again. But I promised never to let myself chase after a guy unless he had feelings and the feelings where strong enough to know he'd try as much as he could.
But even in that scenario, I was scared of it just ending again. Well-- WHATEVER YOU GET MY POINT!
But Seth....Oh god Seth.
His eyes are so ** gorgous, like the most amazing eyes I've ever seen, and im NOT just saying that. He's funny, and random and unique, He's a really good muscicain(CAn't sing for ** lol) and is just....
Im not his best friend. He don't tell me much thats oo important-- But I can tell hes amazing. Im just good with reading people.
I've liked him sense i started talking to him in the begging of the school year, I didn't realise how stupidy in LOVE I was till maybe right befor ehte middle.
Problem is....I'll never make a move. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's in love with his childhood friend, and my best friend, Caitlynn. She's beautiful and Funny and SKINNY, If I was gay I'D want to date her. She's just amazing.
And he's known her for so long. And looks at her with so much care, And luaghs so ** much around her.
It kills me but I live through it everyday.
She likes him back. But is hesitant to make a move. Because we're best friends. 'Tell eachother EVERYTHING. I know she likes him She knows i love him. She wants to be a good friend.
And the strange thing is Im absolutly 100% NOT letting her go through with that.
I mean, When you live a hard life, you learn how to take a hit. You also appreciate things for what their worth. And people who care about you, their priceless.
I care about my friends like I care for my onw family. They ARE my family('Xept for seth, that would be **) So OF COURSE I'd rather have my two friends who so adorably like each other to go out and fall in love and be happy. Then to take that away, and chase a false romance so selfishly as shes asked.
Tonights graduation. I cna't go because my shcools retarded and banned me. I told her to dance with him and she said Yeah. Im happy for them. I hpe they even kiss.
No I don't.
I hope my heart toughens up, the way it was before Seth came into my life, before they kiss.
How old are you? Like 14?