Family, For better For worse

My Family means the world to me. I'd probably do anything for them.
When my parents decided to migrate to US, my family was very happy and excited. I was only 9 years old back then. My parents always had the mentality, that US is better than any other country. But when we got there, we were in constant need of money. My father who had a hard time keeping a job as a aircraft mechanic would also argue and beat my mother almost every night.My mother would lock us in a room ,and my brothers and I were left listening to her horrifying screams and crashing sounds through the thin cheap apartment walls, as he pounded his fist onto her flesh ....thump...thump...thump.

I experienced much discrimination in school,.... or wherever, and my brothers also felt it too. The pressure also got to my oldest brother... so he liked to molest, and eventually rape,me whenever no ones around. It started shortly after we arrived in US, meaning I was still 9 years of age. I remember not understanding the situation. As I grew older, I constantly felt disgusted of my self. But I could never push him away...Who else feed me when my mother was to tired to even bother with me...Or my father who only sits on his obnoxious ass all day drinking and smoking his life away?? Who else would help me when I don't understand something? Who else would hug me and say it was all going to be alright? So to YOU...Oh reader, I confess that I always let my brother do as he wishes with me even today... No matter how disgusting I am...As he nonchalantly f**** and c*** in me like a dog in heat, careless of what I feel inside... , I will always smile and tell him I love him.

One day, 12-year old me, confessed what was happening within my household, it was to much, I could not take it anymore.I was so young so delicate... My Middle School's Psychiatrist promised me that it was all going to be confidential, That she was only doing this to help me feel better. But I was wrong, the next day, the police came to my front door, looking for my father. I was away during this time, and so was my father. My brother told us that they would return tomorrow. Once my mother heard of the news, She sends my father away. My father, cursed me as he left my life for 4 years.

Due to US's recessive state, eventually my family and I returned to our home country. And the funny thing is...My family and I still act the same... I'm now 20 years of age. Still acting like that delicate little girl that was only trying to reach for help.

I can't believe that I confessed.
So If you reach this far, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart.For I have asked for none-more but for someone to hear my story, to find relief. Thank you...

Jul 1, 2011

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  • I can relate to this story in certain ways. more ways then i'd like to admit. I feel your pain, you are not alone. I'm sorry that you have to live through that. I'm sorry that anyone does.

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