Say Something

The song 'Say Something' for me, means something different than the song is probably meant to be interpreted. My meaning is still about a relationship but the song takes a more literal approach for my situation.

Two years ago I had been dating a girl for 2 years and 8 months. She was amazing, had a great smile and a great sense of humour. I loved her and I loved being around her, she could be energetic or relaxed whenever the time called for it.

However, she experienced crippling panic attacks whenever there was too many things going on around her. Usually I was there for her and could tell if something was going to happen; but not for a few.

I had gone on a camping trip with my friends for a few days and when I came back, I heard that my girlfriend had been having quite a few panic attacks and that she was becoming depressed. I tried to contact her through her cell phone and eventually went to her house because I was worried.

Her mother let me in and I went up and sat outside my girlfriend's room and talked to her through the door. She didn't respond but I could hear her in her room.

Eventually I couldn't hear her anymore, which made me a lot more worried as she couldn't have gone to sleep with me talking to her. When I heard a thump, I jumped up and entered her room.

She had overdosed herself on sleeping pills.

It turns out that she had been struggling with depression for the past few weeks but she had been hiding it from everyone except for her family.

I know that, if I hadn't been so blind, then I could have seen what was happening. If I hadn't been away for those last few days then we could have worked our way through what she was going through.

I blame myself.

2 Comments

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  • You did more than most guys would have - it is not your fault

  • This isn't your fault. That's all I'm going to say.

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