Love Can Do Terrible Things

We are open with each other. I told her that I felt we were growing apart and I felt our relationship 'dying'. And omg I've never heard anyone so upset. It killed me. So we talked about the things that each of us does that we don't like and we discussed about that because she said she wants to fight for this. I definitely feel she isn't as close to me as she used to be either. I was thinking it over and one of the bigger things I noticed was that we weren't like we were the past bajillion months. Like we were great, then we "plateu'd" and now it's declining. We both know we need to break up eventually. We uncomfortably talked about it and she said she was planning on us going to prom, having one more summer, going off to college and then eventually breaking up. Like over the phone im assuming. And I said absolutely not. I told her I wanted us to be friends by then, pretty good ones. The number one thing I don't want is to have to sadly say goodbye to ANYONE at the airport. That's not happening. I want it to be happy. I want to go to college happy. Not sad and wanting to go home. But then it made me think if we do in fact brake up. I feel everything senior year will suck. Cause everyone knows about our relationship. and I don't want my academics, sports, and social life to suck for either of us because of depression. And I feel like it's a little late for me to be prom shopping yanno? So I feel like I'm stuck until June 2012. But I will in fact go out of my way to see the girl I met on vacation until she leaves for college.

 I'm a senior this September in High School. I have this girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years now. We've had a pretty rock solid relationship and honestly. I think the fire's burnt out. For me at least. I don't know why. I never wanted a relationship this long, and I'm scared to get out of it cause I know how devastated she'll feel and it kills me. I'd much rather her brake up with me. And what sparked this you may ask? I met this girl on vacation that lives 20 minutes from me back home. I'm completely head over heels for her and I'm pretty sure she is too. I kissed her. And I was happy. I felt terrible at first. But now I see it as 'that chance I didn't let go of' and I'm happy I did. She's so perfect. Now I just wish she wasn't going off to college in 2 weeks. See, I'm a state champion athlete, and i've been getting scholarship letters since sophomore year and I'm ranked in the top 50 in the nation. And the funny thing is, I got a letter from the school that the girl I met from vacation is going to in 2 weeks. My girlfriend and I are open with each other. I told her that I felt we were growing apart and I felt our relationship 'dying'. And omg I've never heard anyone so upset. It killed me. So we talked about the things that each of us does that we don't like and we discussed about that because she said she wants to fight for this. I definitely feel she isn't as close to me as she used to be either. I was thinking it over and one of the bigger things I noticed was that we weren't like we were the past bajillion months. Like we were great, then we "plateu'd" and now it's declining. We both know we need to break up eventually. We uncomfortably talked about it and she said she was planning on us going to prom, having one more summer, going off to college and then eventually breaking up. Like over the phone im assuming. And I said absolutely not. I told her I wanted us to be friends by then, pretty good ones. The number one thing I don't want is to have to sadly say goodbye to ANYONE at the airport. That's not happening. I want it to be happy. I want to go to college happy. Not sad and wanting to go home. But then it made me think if we do in fact brake up. I feel everything senior year will suck. Cause everyone knows about our relationship. and I don't want my academics, sports, and social life to suck for either of us because of depression. And I feel like it's a little late for me to be prom shopping yanno? So I feel like I'm stuck until June 2012. But I will in fact go out of my way to see the girl I met on vacation until she leaves for college.

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