Until death finds me

I decided to stay here. I can't go back home. I'm 18 now and far away as possible form home. My cousins asked me to stay with them and it's something I can't refuse. I realized I can't come back to a place so dead. A place that kills me off until I'm nothing but a walking vessel. I like it here, no I love it. I have so much family that loves me. Real love. I've been here two weeks and after they asked me to stay. I have too. I can finish out my high school here. I'm not feeling suicidal I only smoked once and that was when some of my home life found it's way here.. But I only had a couple cigs and didn't touch them since. I'm vulnerable now, and I'm hurting a lot with no one to talk to back home. At least here with my cousins, I feel safe. Some part of me feels alive
I want to start living again.
JB

Aug 18, 2011

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