That I say I hate my dad but really it's just a cover up so no one can see how badly I am hurting. I see him maybe once a year, and I always loath those visits because I know I'm not good enough for him. I'm overweight and not on any sports teams which means I'm a disappointment to him. Now he has a new daughter. He tries so hard to be in her life and yet he never makes the effort to come and see me. She's not even two and she's seen my dad more then I have over the last eighteen years.
I complain about how horrible he is, and how much I wish I never knew him but sometimes it's not true.
This year I graduated, and for the first time in years I made it on the honor roll. He couldn't even be bothered to send me a simple text to congratulate me. Instead he waited until my birthday a month later. The text read, 'happy birthday, congrats on grad, sorry your checks late'. Is that all I am to him? A check once a year?
To top it all off, he is spending hundreds of dollars on his new kid and he can't even spare anything so I can go to University. Now, I have to take a year off and get a full time job just so I can even consider going to college.
Is it wrong for me to wish more then anything that I was good enough to be his daughter?