You know, all I ever want is for everyone to be happy, and look how far that s*** has gotten me. I bet my mom probably thought about abortion. I wasn't even f****** planned man. I get so p***** at her, and then I feel bad 'cause I know she's trying to be a good mother. I'm an emotional f****** wreck. I'm caught between being p***** as f***, and hating my life, and just trying to appreciate everything God has given me. I don't mean to be all sad and stuff, it's just, life is f***** up. : / I just wonder, why me? Why the h*** am I here? Why did I have to get this family? I'm not saying that in a bitter way (okay, maybe a little)but I really wanna know. I feel so f****** useless, like I'm just taking up space. What if my f****** purpose was to change my mom? What a f****** life. . . I don't even really curse like this, but there's no other way I feel like I can express myself. Today, my mom is being so f****** rude to everyone, and I'm just wondering WHAT THE F*** IS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM. If I could run away, I think I would. I'm so f****** tired of being here, with these f****** people who don't appreciate s*** that I do. Everyone makes me feel so unloved, I f****** hate it. The only thing that's keeping me sane right now is God, and the fact that school is starting up. I've been so lonely this summer. The thing is, I don't want to bring these issues into school. I don't want it to affect my schoolwork, or my school life. You know, I know God puts us here for a purpose and all, but when I see other people's lives it's like ... seriously? I know that there are people out there who have it worse than me, and if somehow I could change that.. I know in my heart that I would. Like I said, all I want is for everyone to be happy, but I also wanna be happy. I want to wake up, and be excited for a new day. So far, every f****** thing is getting on my f****** nerves and I don't know how much of it I can take. Sometimes I really hate my life. That's why I really really wish that I believed in reincarnation. The chance to do this life over? Man, I'd take it any day. A different family, a different me. . .
And you know, I think people don't like me that much in my family cause I'm a girl. Everyone loves boys, my mom even wished I was a boy, but I came out as a girl. I f****** hate my family sometimes. How f***** up everyone is, and how they don't even seem to care about it. Or me. F*** THIS LIFE, I'M READY FOR A NEW ONE.


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  • U need to add excitment to ur life offer ur school mates bjs n return for them giving u head that should make u happy

  • Suicide is not the answer. (It means murdering yourself). Please ask Jesus to take over your life, and change your heart, and give you joy. He can and He will. Don't give up, and don't despair. We all go thru rough patches, God is a great deliverer - I'm sorry you are going thru so much.

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