I hate myself
I hate myself more than I have ever hated anyone else in the world. I am in love with two men, neither of whom want to make me their priority. The man to whom I am married treats work as his priority; the man with whom I am having the affair, has his wife and family as his priority. Apparently, I am not good enough for either of these men.
Please don't judge me about the affair and say that's why I am not good enough for my husband. There is a full backstory that I don't care to discuss.
I really just wanted to say that I hate myself for getting into this situation, for cheating, for not being good enough and knowing I never will be.